Saturday, July 25, 2009

I've learnt something..
If you can't forget..learn to forgive..
I've read your blog..
yes..i was touched.
But for the first time..i don't feel any hatred nor guilt..
What u had done the other night..the words..
It's over..
Now..its a begining.
Learn to forgive..you will feel better..
^^
We had loved each other before..
I am still grateful of it.
You had taught me loads of things..
I truely appreciate it.
But...
as i had said,
Life goes on...



so finally u replied my blog...u said u were touched..but i dun feel any hatred nor guilt...its not tat u learn 2 4giv..its u noe u'll b 4given..from my previous posts..every single 1 is meant 2 u..my words were harsh somtims..n u noe unless i turn into a super genius..so tat i'll use those very beautiful n polite words..but tats the onli thing i dun alike as edward...no vocab...even in chinese..i'll still use som wrong words during the time 2 express myself...yesterday night..after finishin work..while waitin 4 som1 2 pick me up..i walk cross ur house..few times...listenin 2 music n sing..try 2 sing loud but not til caused som disturbance 2 the neighbours..hopin 4 u 2 hear it coz u din close ur windows...bt guess u din..mayb u were on the phone..in the opposite..ur dad heard it..he looked out from the toilet window n he saw me..i dunno whether he recognize me..bt i noe tat time i hv 2 go...it dissapointed me a little coz it doesn't work out like the plan...the next day was ur next interview..i was so nervous n wantin 2 wish u good luck..bt i dun dare 2 call u coz knowin u'll b on the phone n after tat u hv 2 slp early..dun dare 2 text u coz i noe every single time u got my text..u'll start 2 recall bac everythin n instead of tryin hard 2 think of a way 2 ans the interviewers question..u'll b tryin hard 2 find a way 2 4get bout me...after ur interview..when i ask bout the result..u told me tat u dun really care bout it coz of the salary was bit 2 low..but the voice of doubt appear again which makes me think of is it really coz of tat or is it tat i din wish u..u scared tat i giv up or somthin..tats y u dun really hv a mood in it..or really coz of the salary..bt u scare tat u cant really find som big money in few years time n u hv 2 work extra long which break ur promise 2 me...lately u hv been workin so so hard..from ur mouth..u wanna get into the job is coz of the salary..but wat u need the salary 4...u noe u wont let urself b over work coz of money..n same goes 2 me..i noe it 2...the onli reason is u wont wan 2 giv any chances 2 me or u..2 hv time 2 think of me n us...every single motivation n reason of urs in doin somthin had been look thro by me..nw ur fatratin not coz of my appearance really disturb u..but i finally noe it n u hv 2 think of a way 2 blind folded my eyes again..which u noe its gettin harder n harder these few days coz..as the time goes on n everytim i was able 2 look thro it..u noe my mind grow alot bout u...u hv no choice bt 2 use bac the same old reason..he's my bf..i dun love u anymor..jus let me go plz...life goes on..the onli words u gav me...yes..but u 4got 2 type in some words..life goes on but plz dun let me go n hold me tighter than b4 so tat i noe i hv no other way 2 continue escapin but 2 come bac 2 u..tats the onli reason i wan if i nid 2 continue...i successfully solve every single puzzle u gav...n nw onli i noe..i din..turn into a devil..instead..i've grown alot more so tat i hv no doubt my givin up my wings as an angel n come 2 the earth 2 protect u,my loved ones...even tho i noe theres no way bac again...tho its like tat..i oso learnt no matter wat..i cant giv up of my future coz tats oso 1 of the reason 2 keep u feelin secured wif me next time..by not foloin me beggin around wif ppl 2 get some money or oways argue bout omney coz of financial problems...nw onli i realise y u oways told me..instead of oways worryin bout our future..y dun i jus think of nw somtims...n i got into ur position of u sayin...livin happily nw its the onli way 2 keep the future in ur mind...yup...i understand it..the onli thing i left is u comin bac 2 feel n see how much i understand..not change..how much i can stand n view things from ur sight...not oways bein selfish n thinki of every thing is 4 ur own good..n learnin tat the onli way 2 keep our love life last longer its not by preventin neither ur past or mine 2 b happenin again..but 2 love u mor n care 4 u more..tats wat its important...i hope i did past ue test tis time..b4 u comin out wif somthin mor difficult..when u read tis blog again..plz..secretly take my phone next time n try 2 send every single voice record in my phone without me noticin...listen 2 it...n i guess..tat will b my answer 4 ur test in the future...je taime...





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