motivations~

lately..my blog really start 2 filled wif posts...b4 tis..i dun feel like writin anythin in it...lazy...tired..but lately..after so many things happened...i onli realise here left alot of her tracks...b4 tis..she oways ask me 2 update my blog la...write somthin in it la..but..i oways use lazy..tired..as excuses...but nw...everyday i feel like turn on the pc n write bout my day..so tat if she on9...n mayb she surf into my blog..she could see wats goin on in my life...wat i learnt n see on tat day...haizz...dunno y..after u lost somthin..onli u learn n noe how important it is 2 ur life..but..will i get another chance...i mean...those every single 1 deserve 2 get another chance...if i hv it...i swear i'll try my very best 2 do it again...at least tis time...i noe i wont hv 2 much mistakes in it again...but...when will tat day come..when will i get 2 hold ur hand again~

first or second~

there was once i heard bout somthin...in this world...most of the ppl will b 2gether wif the person they 2ndly love the most..but wat happen 2 the one they really love the most..som of them is coz they din really get the chance 2 b wif tat person..som of them is coz they cant...but wat bout those who can or hv the chance but still din get 2gether..well...mayb..coz he/she really very love tat person..til he/she very scare tat they'll get hurt if anythin happen..i mean...in a relationship..there'll oways b fights n arguements...as long as those who did wrong...they realise it n willin 2 change..there wont b too late 2 change everything..its jus depends on whether they wan 2 blive it again or not...but no matter wat...every1 deserve 2 hv another chance...as long as...they really show..the true heart..

hopes n chances...

to think about it..u never really given me any hopes b4..but wat u hv give me is chances...i might not realised it b4 coz i was too slow 2 notice it..but nw i did..it never stopped me from knowin u more..but u stopped me from gettin close 2 u...coz of my temper...or coz u scare...u scare of somthin...which i hope tat u can share n count on me so tat we could both solve it 2gether~wat im behavin nw..it wont b temporraly anymor..its jus tat..its waitin 4 u 2 experience the unexpectation from me...still waitin..never giv up~

untrustable

nw onli i noe..wat hurt the most..is not jus coz u left me..it hurts me more when i got 2 noe tat bsides than u..ppl who i trust..who say will help..end up..stabbin my bac..not jus 1..but 2...why...if u guys seriously dowan 2 help..then jus say no..y wan 2 hurt me like tis...i tot u guys really wan 2 help..i was so happy bac there...at least there lights a hope...even tho its jus bit...but...haizz...i got so dissapointed...i tot i could trust u guys...i really tot so...fren...so called...yea..

the time has come

the time has come for me 2 do somthin..i decided 2 go on study...but by tat,the chances for us 2 meet again will b really less...im challengin my own destiny..even tho i noe it might b very risky...wat if we'll never meet each other again..wat if..u really forget bout me...wat if..its the last chance we can see each other..but...i tell myslef..i hv 2 stop bein so childish...i hv 2 hv my own carrier n qualities onli i'll b abale 2 giv u a secured life in the future...if we hv the chance again...tats y..no matter how risky it is..i hv 2 do it..n baby...wait 4 me 2 come bac...the line bwtn us hv't really break yet..it jus lossen up alot lately...i love u...

runnin out of ideas~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im oreadi runnin out of ideas~!!!!guys..help...help me baby...giv me some clues..some tips~help me...i seriously dunno how 2 do n wat 2 do...i cant jus sit there n do nth..i cant..i love u i love u I LOVE U!!!!!help me someone..plz~wat should i do..wat can i do...why is this happenin on me..y tat night i break out my temper..y cant i jus wait 4 her 2 explain...y~!!!!!!yiesh!!!!!!nw i nid u 2 look at me once..plz...i changed....alot..really...plz jus giv me a chance n look at me~

the hardest period in my life~

nw im goin under the hardest period in my life..i noe i gonna change alot 2 get her bac..but i noe i oreadi change..the onli problem nw is how 2 get her bac..my god~!!!!!!everytime i see her smiled when she sms-ed wif him..everytim i hv 2 smile n laugh 2 pretend nth happen..everytim when i smelled her scene..everytim when i hold her..ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!F**K!!!GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!jus giv me some clue in it..i hate it..y..y i noe she's oways bside me..y..y i noe tat she still love me n waitin 4 me 2 prove tat i changed but y i cant!!!!WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!I HATE MYSELF COZ I CANT DO A THING..WHY~!!!!!!!!!!

the cool period~

its oreadi a week..both of us r still like tat..i mean..i cant blame her..its my fault anyway..n it seriously is my fault..i hv oreadi been given so many chances..i understand y is she doin tis but..nw i hv oreadi change n awaken..it'll no longer onli last 4 1 or 2 months..it'll last..til the very end..wat done is done..but if there is a mistake..i hope we could jus turn around n get bac into track...nw..both of us r so close..but..no matter wat..there's still a gap in btwn..i wan 2 destroy it..i wana crash it..i jus wan us 2 b 2gether...baby..i oreadi wrong..seriously...i changed..plz..giv me 1 more chance...come back~

GOGO FIGHT!!!!!

盈，我是不会放弃的!!为了我们的未来，为了您和我当年曾经许下的承诺，为了您的幸福，为了我们。。不光有多累，不管再怎么辛苦，我，林杰豪，发誓我一定不会放弃您!!!!!!!!!!

first time ever~

这是我第一次用华语来写,最近的生活真的很不一样了..我知道现在才来后悔是有点迟,但是我真得知错了..我们在一起经历过了那么多东西..有开心也有不开心,但是那些确实在一段感情里最珍贵的回忆..过去的几年,我只是知道去了解您,却不知道如何去尊重您..每次只想到这个对您好,这个对您不好。。却没有真正的去想过您到底喜不喜欢我的决定。。您一直以来并不是不信有‘永远‘这两个字，而是在您的心里，只要两个人在一起，有了快乐自然而然就会有永远。。现在的我明白了，现在的我知道了。。您现在改变主意还不是太迟的。。我会帮您，我会握着您的手一起度过每一个难关的。。我不会笑您，更加不会让别人看不起您。。但是，不管怎样我对您的爱一直没变过。。就算以后发生了什么事情，我永远都会在你身边支持您，安慰您，照顾您，爱您。。我真得知错了。。请您再给我一次机会。。让我改过。。不管怎样。。只要我们两个人在一起，没有事情是能难道我们的。。在一起这麽久了。。没有事情是我们解决不到的。。只要我们互相支持，互相照顾。。一定可以。。我真得知错了。。请您回来。。请您再给我一次机会。。再给我们两个一次机会。。我等您。。不管需要多久。。我都会一样用不变心的等。。不断地去爱。。直到有一天我们能够在一次相拥抱在一起。。我永远永远的爱您。。蔡睿盈。。

a huge change in life

hmm..after gratuate from secondary scl,i found out tat life had changed alot..i mean really LOT!!!somtims it seriously very very hard 2 breath..hmm..tis year isn't really a good year 2 me..everythin seems 2 b so complicated n harsh..i try very hard 2 live,but it needs more than hardwork 2 live..huh~i jus wish things can b smooth after these..i jus wish 2 get bac my happy life..