hate it....

another night which i couldn't get my slp well..i lost count of how many nights i been thro like this...tats y lately..im oways so tired..no matter where i go..i'll jus feel like layin on somthin n slp..but when i slp..i'll jus keep on wake up..haizz...yesterday night i had a dream..a very stupid..n stupid..n STUPID dream..i dreamt tat she get 2 noe 1 of my mom's fren..n tat aunty treat her like..argghh~i dunno how 2 say..jus..good..i was so pissed..tat i dream tat i throw all the table around me...well,tat was the 1st 1...then i woke up..n i get bac 2 slp again..the same dream...but tis time..i calm myself down..n try 2 relax..who noes..when i look up..i saw them kissin in a car..WALAO~!!!!tat time..i...arrggghhh~i quickly ran away..far away from tat ''view''...n start 2 shout...shout as loud as i could..but no voice comin out from me..no matter how hardi try 2 shout..jus..nth..everythin is sufferin inside me...nvm..i woke up again..n i dun wanna slp bac..i jus lay on the bed..suddenly..i think of..september 24th is comin..u noe wat day is tat..i bet u guys wanna noe it..its..our anniversary...WTF right...?damn it..nvm..i shoke my head as hard as i could 2 4get bout how am i gonna pass tat day..then..the next thing comin out was..tat guy's b'day is comin soon..n alot of view of how they'r gonna celebrate it 2gether..argghh~!!!!tat time..i so wish theres somthin bside me so tat i can hit myself n faint..or..or..jus cut my head off..i got so so pissed..n think of 2day..she'll b goin out wif him 2 hv breakfast 2gether..wat a great mornin i hv...early morning oreadi so many HAPPY stuff..i dunno how will it b the rest of my day..i cant tell any1 bout it..no1 4 me 2 turn into..talk wif her frens..dunno who will think tat im jus like a fly..keep flyin around their ears..talk wif my frens..they'll jus say..giv up la..jus hv fun..(if i could throw away everythin..i wont called it as love..==)talk 2 my mum..u noe..parents words..i hv.no1..no1 2 talk 2...sufferin deep..deep inside...wat i hv..is jus tis..silent blog..which no matter wat i wrote..there'll b no response...better than nth i guess..at least..it wont come out an answer sayin tat askin me 2 giv up or jus some answer which will jus make me even more sad..i hate myself..goin under this kind of life..which dunno how long will tis sufferin days will end..