merry or happy christmas~?=.=

hmm..nw its christmas again~time jus pass by so fast til ucant even get 2 chance 2 breath..christmas..where every1 in the world especially kids r waitin 4 it 2 arrive..but me..it jus sound normal 2 me..well,i feel kinda sad 2 think like tat..coz..4 me..christmas is jus nth special but hopin 4 somthin special tat will not happen..its not tat coz darling cant been through christmas wif me tats y i feel tat way..its..i dun even noe wat so special bout it but y every1 some how seems 2 waitin 4 it happily but not me..i cant get the meanin of christmas n wat so fun bout it..but i wanna feel it..i wanna get it..jus..every year i was hopin 2 feel the specialty of it..some how every year it dissapointed me..haizz~when will i get my happy little christmas~T.T

haizz...i dun really understand why~can any1 tell me or explain 2 me plz~

haizz...2day darling told me tat she got a job in a mini mart..1st thing tat came 2 my mind was mini mart..robberies...prevert boss n workers..not a safe place..tats y at 1st i was totally disagreed..n i reminded darling tat i told her b4 jobs tat she can look for is onli at kindergarden or house..(tutor her bro)..well,at least 2 me these r the safest places..after darling explain 2 me n say tat shop was her uncle's..n say it'll b safe coz his children will b in there 2..tat time.i noe i cant hold darling bac 2 much n she really wanna do it..i hv no choice but 2 say yes..but i keep remind her bout if anythin happens,jus scream out loud or call me..well..til she finish her work..at least my darling still safe..^^..n im glad bout it..then she went 2 her cousin's dancin class..coz dunno y she suddenly like dancin..mayb is last time at prom she saw me dance~XP..well,2 me its not bad too..as dancin is a god exercise where u can keep ur body fit n build up ur self confidence as well..hmm..after tat,i called darling n we chat awhile..she told me she met up her uncle at the dancin class n stuff..in tat conversation..onli 2 thing tat makes me felt quite nsatisfied n unhappy bout it..tat time her uncle ask her bout her bf..n she say she din hv 1..when i heard bout it..i was like..WAT?!!!THEN WHO AM I..??!!!i mean..y dun u jus admit tat u hv 1 n its me!!!after tat..when i ask..she jus keep say dun wan..i really dun understand..its not the 1st time oreadi..well,b4 tat was b4 our spm..i understand..but nw..??spm its oreadi over..n nw even u hv a bf,its super super normal...y dun u jus admit bout it..??!!!i..i really dun understand..n im really sad bout it..but i jus hv 2 stop the topic..coz i dun wann fight over tat again..jus..i really dun understand y..y cant u jus admit it..it gives me a feel like..im still not tat improtant 2 u tat u still cant at least admit me in front of ur family..am i really tat not important 2 u..??or..u never think tat u wan me 2 b a part of ur family b4..i..i really dun understand..questions keep comin out from my mind..i really dun understand..n im so sad..sad tat..mayb im still not tat important 2 u..haizz..T.T

say hi 2 me again coz its freedom nw~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yay yay yay~finally my secondary scl life its over~yes!!!!!!!!!well..nw my parents r hvin vacation at vietnam..me??altho its after spm..but im stuck at here coz i hv 2 help my parents 2 look after the shop as they were hvin fun..haizz..sad..tot of i can work bit 2 earn some money 2 play tim..well,at least after they come bac,i got a part time job as a tuition teacher n mayb a restaurant waiter..(imagine my students meet me in the restaurant as a waiter~XP)haizz..2moro its oreadi prom night..but i hvt get my clothes a..hvt buy n no money~~T.T..haizz..nw so damn nervous a..no clothes..wat am i gonna wear 2 prom??~!!!!!!!plus..i dun think got ppl fetch me home after prom..haizz..sad..dunno wat 2 do nw..hv 2 wait til my parents come bac from vacation onli discuss..arhh!!!!!!!prom~~~hmm..darling,if 2moro i wear til not nice,plz dun b dissapointed on me ok?plz~~~