finally she got the job~but...she misunderstand me again...

jus nw b4 work..i was walkin alone in pasar malam...suddenly she pop out from bhind..i was kinda surprise coz its like she's so happy 2 see me...but then..she told me she quit the job at the tuition center..tat moment..the pieces of left over of my heart drop til the very end of the black hole...i was so so so shock n sad n alot of feelings...i keep thinkin..shit,then we cant mmet again..then how am i gonna chase her bac..how..argghh~!!!!i was so sad tat time n she told me tat coz she pass the interview..n she's gonna start her trainin soon after she go 4 medical check up...even tho tat time i was very happy 2 hear tat news..coz tats wat we promised b4..n tats wat i hope as well..but my face jus cant show the ''happy'' expression coz of the ''i quit the job''...my mind is spinin around tat sentence..bt she misunderstand tat when she told me somthin happy..i look sad...i was like..i din..n i try my best 2 explain..but she told me dun force myself if im not..i was so sad n angry tat time..force myself..yea..i am..i am forcin my self..im doin tat 4 the pass whole month n nw onli u realise??!!!halo..miss..u'r doin the same as well~!!!duh~obviously she deny again..but can see...its wasnt true from wat comin out from her mouth which say she's not...n she say i got wat so worried n sad..my bf should b sad...again..tis time..i nearly say it out..i mean..??haha..so funny...since when..he??tat guy..ur bf?come on..yea..name..but real..no..u n i we both noe tat...n if its not coz of me..he??wait 4 another hundred years..he treated u like tat..even til nw...he still doesnt noe how 2 appreciate u...ur bf?he jus treat u as som1 or somthin when he nid u..he calls u..when he dun..he'll jus kik u away..bf??yea..BastardFucker....but u'r still so determine..4 wat..?me?even tho u come bac..i can still handle it..plus..nw im facin serious problems wif my studies..very stressful..i nid u even more 2 b wif me n support me like b4...still remember??''faith n support''...but where r u nw..ask urself ying..jus wake up n come bac..

b'day n anniversary is comin..but..things had changed...

next friday will b her 18th b'day...early in the year..i oreadi start 2 plan alot alot of stuff..coz tis year..we'r free from scl...tas y i decided 2 gav her a very very special day tat he never ever had b4 in tis 18 years...but looks like there will b a change of plan...i hope it wont..but...i oreadi try my best 2 stop it..its on u nw,baby...same as tis comin 24th of september...our anniversary...remember last year??we went 2 mv..n u lost the diamond??well..it was quite a special 1..coz i guess tat was the 1st time in our anniversary tat i hug u in my arms while u'r cryin n say i love u..XP...but...will tat bcome our memories..plz dun let tat happen...baby...come bac..come bac 2 me...let me hv a reason again 2 create a new happy b'day song 2 u....til ever...

I've learnt something..

If you can't forget..learn to forgive..

I've read your blog..

yes..i was touched.

But for the first time..i don't feel any hatred nor guilt..

What u had done the other night..the words..

It's over..

Now..its a begining.

Learn to forgive..you will feel better..

^^

We had loved each other before..

I am still grateful of it.

You had taught me loads of things..

I truely appreciate it.

But...

as i had said,

Life goes on...

so finally u replied my blog...u said u were touched..but i dun feel any hatred nor guilt...its not tat u learn 2 4giv..its u noe u'll b 4given..from my previous posts..every single 1 is meant 2 u..my words were harsh somtims..n u noe unless i turn into a super genius..so tat i'll use those very beautiful n polite words..but tats the onli thing i dun alike as edward...no vocab...even in chinese..i'll still use som wrong words during the time 2 express myself...yesterday night..after finishin work..while waitin 4 som1 2 pick me up..i walk cross ur house..few times...listenin 2 music n sing..try 2 sing loud but not til caused som disturbance 2 the neighbours..hopin 4 u 2 hear it coz u din close ur windows...bt guess u din..mayb u were on the phone..in the opposite..ur dad heard it..he looked out from the toilet window n he saw me..i dunno whether he recognize me..bt i noe tat time i hv 2 go...it dissapointed me a little coz it doesn't work out like the plan...the next day was ur next interview..i was so nervous n wantin 2 wish u good luck..bt i dun dare 2 call u coz knowin u'll b on the phone n after tat u hv 2 slp early..dun dare 2 text u coz i noe every single time u got my text..u'll start 2 recall bac everythin n instead of tryin hard 2 think of a way 2 ans the interviewers question..u'll b tryin hard 2 find a way 2 4get bout me...after ur interview..when i ask bout the result..u told me tat u dun really care bout it coz of the salary was bit 2 low..but the voice of doubt appear again which makes me think of is it really coz of tat or is it tat i din wish u..u scared tat i giv up or somthin..tats y u dun really hv a mood in it..or really coz of the salary..bt u scare tat u cant really find som big money in few years time n u hv 2 work extra long which break ur promise 2 me...lately u hv been workin so so hard..from ur mouth..u wanna get into the job is coz of the salary..but wat u need the salary 4...u noe u wont let urself b over work coz of money..n same goes 2 me..i noe it 2...the onli reason is u wont wan 2 giv any chances 2 me or u..2 hv time 2 think of me n us...every single motivation n reason of urs in doin somthin had been look thro by me..nw ur fatratin not coz of my appearance really disturb u..but i finally noe it n u hv 2 think of a way 2 blind folded my eyes again..which u noe its gettin harder n harder these few days coz..as the time goes on n everytim i was able 2 look thro it..u noe my mind grow alot bout u...u hv no choice bt 2 use bac the same old reason..he's my bf..i dun love u anymor..jus let me go plz...life goes on..the onli words u gav me...yes..but u 4got 2 type in some words..life goes on but plz dun let me go n hold me tighter than b4 so tat i noe i hv no other way 2 continue escapin but 2 come bac 2 u..tats the onli reason i wan if i nid 2 continue...i successfully solve every single puzzle u gav...n nw onli i noe..i din..turn into a devil..instead..i've grown alot more so tat i hv no doubt my givin up my wings as an angel n come 2 the earth 2 protect u,my loved ones...even tho i noe theres no way bac again...tho its like tat..i oso learnt no matter wat..i cant giv up of my future coz tats oso 1 of the reason 2 keep u feelin secured wif me next time..by not foloin me beggin around wif ppl 2 get some money or oways argue bout omney coz of financial problems...nw onli i realise y u oways told me..instead of oways worryin bout our future..y dun i jus think of nw somtims...n i got into ur position of u sayin...livin happily nw its the onli way 2 keep the future in ur mind...yup...i understand it..the onli thing i left is u comin bac 2 feel n see how much i understand..not change..how much i can stand n view things from ur sight...not oways bein selfish n thinki of every thing is 4 ur own good..n learnin tat the onli way 2 keep our love life last longer its not by preventin neither ur past or mine 2 b happenin again..but 2 love u mor n care 4 u more..tats wat its important...i hope i did past ue test tis time..b4 u comin out wif somthin mor difficult..when u read tis blog again..plz..secretly take my phone next time n try 2 send every single voice record in my phone without me noticin...listen 2 it...n i guess..tat will b my answer 4 ur test in the future...je taime...

another life...

haizz...lately...alot of stuff..2 think..2 consider..n 2 make decission...but dunno y..keep feelin like there's a part of my life oreadi stop movin...dunno y...when i look at the world...i felt tat it has stop movin..even tho it's still colourful..but i cant feel the joy spreadin around..mayb..coz in my life..the part of it has gone..tats y...

~unsecured~

well...2day is my 1st day of math in college...in the new buildin..i mean...the 1st lesson was bout indices,roots n logarithem...i think i spelled it wrongly but nvm..well..arghh~!!!fuck..shit...!!!wat the fuck am i talkin..scl..?!!arghh..i cant even think of anythin nw..am i really tat bad..?4 the sick of god...yea..HE's sick..wtf!!!!wats wrong wif me..??y u like 2 test me so much..?!!!if i fail..jus fail me..y u wann keep on testin me..??!!!am i some sort of angel or stuff..u wan me 2 past the exam n go bac 2 heaven or wat..??stop testin me n jus take me away..!!!!i had enuf suffer over here..yes!!enuf!!!appretiate..yea..i dunno how 2 appretiate it..no matter how good i try..no1 will jue look into my hard work...no..ppl called it as shit work..ppl around me called it...n every1 who's readin bout it nw will b thinkin..tis guys..no hope..onli noe how 2 blame the god..pity him..usless..watever..u guys dun hv the right 2 judge me..i judge myself..no..no 1 hv..not even me..cz i dun even dare 2 judge myself..nw im jus like a little mouse..a dirty little mouse..no matter how good it is..when ppl saw it..they'll jus try their best 2 kill it..even tho it never bite or spoil anythin...u ppl hv no right 2 do it..u dun hv the right 2 do tis..take away everythin of mine..how could u..i try my best 2 start of my life n i suppose 2 choose the way i wan..y r u ppl helpin me 2 do it..i dun wan..giv it bac..giv it bac 2 me..i beg u...giv it bac...

a meaningful sentence..

" 深爱你的人都是天真的天使, 别一度伤害深爱你的人, 他们为了坚持自己的爱情把自己的雪白的翅膀给折断才能到人间守护你,
要是你伤害了他们, 他们就再也没有能力回到他们的原地!!"

lately i read bout an articles from the internet..n i found tis..hmm..jus hope every single 1 who is readin tis post will understand it..if a love life is so easy..it wont b called as love...coz of those hard time n arguements..tats wat make it perfect n special...but how many of them understand tis...do u..???i dun think so...

the time pass by very fast..

the time pass by very fast lately..another 2 more weeks will b her b'day..i dun even dare 2 think bout it..dunno y..after the past few days..i was so scare of my memories..somtims i jus try 2 turn on my music til max when im listenin 2 music thro earphones so tat my mind will onli filled wif the songs..it'll never b free 2 think bout anythin..but the sad part is..mayb coz of tat..lately i found out tat i get very dizzy easily n my ears start 2 hurt..haizz...but i seriously very very sufferin over here..everytim i think of his b'day is near..n same goes 2 hers..how r they gonna celebrate it..think bout tis year her b'day she'll celebrate wif him..not me anymor..arhh~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!nw onli i noe..one of the world most biggest lie is..''the feelin will turn down n gone while the time pass..''BULL SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!it never go away...seriously..day by day..i found out tat even nw..the love of mine 2 her still growin non stop...i love her even more every single day past..i couldnt stop tat from happenin..n i dunno how..i tried 2 smiled..but when im alone..the fake smile will jus eventually gone by itself..god~save me..i dun dare 2 end my own life..if i hv 2 choice 2 choose..plz..end it nw..take away my soul n end my life~

stop n quit..

sorry i hv 2 say..sorry...im jus..a fool..i tot learn alot during the time..i tot i grown...yea..but guess wat..2day..i suddenly realise..i grown..from a dirt..into a devil...a very..scary devil..i tot i changed into a better person..i really tot..i do..but..coz of the feelin..coz of the desire..i change..into a devil..all those posts from the past r all bull shits...shit pieces...i dun dare 2 face any1..i dun dare 2 look into ppl's eyes..i scare tat my dirty n scary face frighten ppl away..i dun dare 2 look how the worlds gonna walk away from me..i really wanna ask..wat the hell am i doin..wat the hell happened..y..y all these r happenin 2 me..i very very jealous bout the character in the japanese drama..y..y he got the chance 2 go bac 2 the past 2 correct things..y dun i..no matter how hard i pray..4 wat i ask is jus a small little chance..but i'll never get it..god strike me..punish me..hatred all around me..it was all wrong..bout as the time pass..u'll eventually 4get bout the whole thing..coz i found out tat..as it pass..the pain i gain is stronger n stronger..i wanna walk away..but my whole body is jus full of cuts n wounds...my heart jus not complete piece anymor..its all bein riped apart..nth left..empty shell..i hate tat i dunno how 2 appretiate it..i hate tat i dun hv the strenght 2 change..i strugle hard..but in the end i get nth..i've lose...totally lose..a loser..nth else but jus a piece of shit..i lost my direction..i cant see my path..i dun see the light anymor..the sentence of urs sayin ''im the 1 who choose tis path,tats y i'll do it til the end..''..tat time i really wanna tell u..if u think like tat..y dun u continue wif me..since u'r the 1 who choose tis path..but without the words bein sayin from my mouth..i giv up..i dun wanna say anythin anymor..i giv up..i dun hv the strenght anymor 2 move on...there's no use 2 strugle..i jus wanna walk away quietly..silently..dun hv the courage 2 look up 2 the world again..nw..i'll jus continue like b4..oways live under the shadow world..n will never wake up..

wishes~

yup..i jus finish watchin a japanese drama..tis drama was all around me during these whole period..the characters inside..they encourage me..2 do things i dun dare 2 do..2 say things i dun dare 2 say..they taught me alot of stuff..which i will never 4get..the courage..patients..love..faith...all of it..it was it..which i really hope i could hv share wif u..there r alot of words..which i dunno how 2use the right terms 2 let u noe..but i really hope u could watch tis drama..even tho i noe u dun like japanese drama..but..thro tat story..i reprsent wat i wanna tell u..wat i wanna let u noe..b4 tis..i dun really noe how 2 appretiate u..4 wat i noe is..nvm,u'r bside me anyway..wat i wanna tell u..i'll let u noe later..or eventually u'll noe..when it comes 2 tat day..which u decided 2 leave..i felt so regret..so regret tat i oways push things bhind..oways think tat there'll b another day..tats y..theres alot of words n sentences which i wanna tell u..but i couldnt get the chance 2..til tat..i keep on msg u..call u..talk 2 u..tell u tat i've changed..im no longer my old self..but i never really think tat..coz of tat..u were confuse again..u were scared..whether tis time am i tellin the truth..whether if u choose me again..will i give u the happiness u wan...which u oways desire of..everytim lookin at u..heard from u tat the way he treat u..how n wat he did..n after tat u told me its ok..nvm..n u'll still hv tat smile on ur face..everytim..my heart bleed non-stop..i hate myself tat i cant stop it..i hate myself y cant i jus convince u tat i'll give u the happiness u wan..i hate myself y cant i jus realise things earlier..everytim..wat i can do is onli hate myself..but wat i din really realise is..how much u need me..not wan me 2 critic wat he hv done..but wan me 2 jus tell u..its ok..i'm oways here 2 listen 2 u..even tho i noe its the hardest thing on earth..wantin me..2 sit there..n put on a very charmin smile..listen 2 ur every single words..jus like b4..n after tat..give u courage..n energy 2 move on..i noe..i cant act like b4..coz..b4 tat..i onli can watch u from far away..u'r jus like unreachable..but u'r my goddness..start from the day i 1st met u..u oreadi penetrate deep inside my heart..no matter how hard i tried 2 told u b4..u jus dun blive..coz u wasnt my 1st love..but..yes..even tho u'r not..but u'r the 1st n the onli 1..who i tried my best 2 learn every single stuff..so tat i could hv understand u more..u might tell me..i'll do tat 2 another girl in the future...but u never noe..how touch i am..whenever im sad n down..u'r the 1..the onli 1 who will jus stand bside me quietly..even tho im mad at tat time n might scold u..but u'll still keep quiet...coz u noe..i nid u..coz of everytim..no matter wat..i hv u around..tats y i never really learn how 2 appretiate u..coz i noe everytim u'll b around..tats y i dunno how 2 express myself..but i wan 2 tell u..no matter wat..no matter wat kind of girl will appear in front of my eyes the next time..even tho we might ben thro another experience..but..the time when i hv wif u..is irreplaceable...the time we cry..laugh..happy..sad..nervous..excited..1st experience of ice skatin..1st time stand infront of the crowd 2 sing 4 u..1st time tryin my very best jus 2 cycle n fetch u bac n fron 2 work..1st time pump up my courage n kneel down in front of the crowd jus 2 ask u 2 b my gf..1st time learn the real way 2 say i love u..where i really do..1st time 2 b so sure tat..coz of u around..im immortal..1st time..coz of u..i tried my very best..2 giv u the most special b'day..even tho im so poor tat i hv 2 hv empty stomach 4 a few days after tat..1st time i felt so special on my b'day coz of u..1st time i cried coz of presents..1st time..coz of u..i din slp well jus 2 stay awake n write 8070 ''i love u''..1st time i felt tat im jus around the corner of death..1st time i step in front 2 confron my fear jus 2 make u the most special girl..1st time..i hv my b'day..celebratin wif u..n the onli time..i think of buyin u a diamond ring..jus 2 see the beauty of u..hvin the love i hv 2 u..there's alot alot more..which i hv wif u..i noe..the past i din do it well..but i really love u..coz of love..i willin 2 try again..coz of lovin u..i willin 2 keep on tryin even tho i face alot of failure..coz of love..coz of love..it melt my heart down til the very zero..so tat i can n i noe how 2 look at the world from the other view..no matter wat sort of problems..parents..frens..teachers..ppl around us..i will still willin 2 stand til the very end..lookin at u..b wif u..stand up 4 u..n love u..thankyou 4 teachin me so many stuff..thank you..4 lovin me..n thank you..4 lettin me 2 noe the world..i love u..the feelin will never goes away..but thankyou..4 appearin 2 b 1 of the most importan person in my life..thank yo..4 teachim me the way...2 love u..

hate it....

another night which i couldn't get my slp well..i lost count of how many nights i been thro like this...tats y lately..im oways so tired..no matter where i go..i'll jus feel like layin on somthin n slp..but when i slp..i'll jus keep on wake up..haizz...yesterday night i had a dream..a very stupid..n stupid..n STUPID dream..i dreamt tat she get 2 noe 1 of my mom's fren..n tat aunty treat her like..argghh~i dunno how 2 say..jus..good..i was so pissed..tat i dream tat i throw all the table around me...well,tat was the 1st 1...then i woke up..n i get bac 2 slp again..the same dream...but tis time..i calm myself down..n try 2 relax..who noes..when i look up..i saw them kissin in a car..WALAO~!!!!tat time..i...arrggghhh~i quickly ran away..far away from tat ''view''...n start 2 shout...shout as loud as i could..but no voice comin out from me..no matter how hardi try 2 shout..jus..nth..everythin is sufferin inside me...nvm..i woke up again..n i dun wanna slp bac..i jus lay on the bed..suddenly..i think of..september 24th is comin..u noe wat day is tat..i bet u guys wanna noe it..its..our anniversary...WTF right...?damn it..nvm..i shoke my head as hard as i could 2 4get bout how am i gonna pass tat day..then..the next thing comin out was..tat guy's b'day is comin soon..n alot of view of how they'r gonna celebrate it 2gether..argghh~!!!!tat time..i so wish theres somthin bside me so tat i can hit myself n faint..or..or..jus cut my head off..i got so so pissed..n think of 2day..she'll b goin out wif him 2 hv breakfast 2gether..wat a great mornin i hv...early morning oreadi so many HAPPY stuff..i dunno how will it b the rest of my day..i cant tell any1 bout it..no1 4 me 2 turn into..talk wif her frens..dunno who will think tat im jus like a fly..keep flyin around their ears..talk wif my frens..they'll jus say..giv up la..jus hv fun..(if i could throw away everythin..i wont called it as love..==)talk 2 my mum..u noe..parents words..i hv.no1..no1 2 talk 2...sufferin deep..deep inside...wat i hv..is jus tis..silent blog..which no matter wat i wrote..there'll b no response...better than nth i guess..at least..it wont come out an answer sayin tat askin me 2 giv up or jus some answer which will jus make me even more sad..i hate myself..goin under this kind of life..which dunno how long will tis sufferin days will end..

randomness~

2day baby go 4 the airasia interview...well,the whole night i couldn't really slp..coz i was so worried bout her..(yea yea..u guys will b thinkin tat im so damn stupid n idiot..so if u wan 2 write bout it in comments..save it..i noe...)early in the morning..i woke up n quickly called her 2 see whether she oreadi wake up anot..coz yesterday night she had a late night slp..when i called..she oreadi woke up n well prepared...but..i guess tat time she was..nvm..after tat..i din called her..i went 2 work..but in my heart..i was sufferin..coz i really hope she could pass..n she'll get panic very easily..after work..i quickly called her 2 noe bout the result..when she told me..''i passed''..i was like..thank god~lucky u passed...but..we din really hv a long conversation..tat time i wasn't really hvin a good mood..dun ask me y..i wont tell..the feelin of confuse came bac again..n again..i really dunno wat 2 do..wat i can do nw is onli watchin her from far away..when she's hurt..i cant really gav her comfort..coz i wasnt allowed 2 do so..i felt very useless..whenever she told me bout those stuff..she dun really noe tat actually my heart was bleedin..better than onli ''pain''...i noe..b4 tis..i made alot of mistakes..but..haizz..nvm..no1 wil really blive tat one who used 2 b a prisoner will change..jus hope tat God could hv given me another chance...there's oways sadness n happiness in life..wat i noe is..im sufferin btween both..i learnt somthin new..human..was born coz of themself...not coz of the world...but..ppl around us..how they view us..it is improtant..but wat we could do bout it is..we change the view of them from bad 2 good..not waited 4 them 2 change themself..how long it takes..no1 noes..but as long as u tried..som1 will realise it..som1 like u..whos readin tis..will noe it..tats y we called it as ''LIFE''...

bad luck returnin again~??!!!!!!!!!!!!o.O

haizzz...dulan dulan oh~college nid 2 do course work in group..but..its oreadi 2nd week of scl..but..i still dunno 1 in my class...how 2 do le~aiyoyo..headache...nvm lo..2day 1st day of malaysian study(a.k.a history class)tot it would b borin..who noes..teacher jus come in n brief bit bout assignment..then after tat we can go bac le..after class..i was thinkin of goin 2 kl plaza n giv baby a surprise of sudden appear..who noes..when i called n ask where she is,she told me the class cancel..n she's hvin drinks wif her frens~then nvm lo..i asked her..later is she goin somewhere..tat time i as thinkin of findin another way 2 giv her the surprise..who noes she answer me bac..none of ur bussiness..i was like..wat the..fine..nvm..haizz..so sad..i dunno la..confusion bac again..sadness...haizz...

understand...finally...

these period im goin thro..it makes me grown..alot...i mean..i never really..well..i was surprise tat im..like tis nw..i mean...humans..r a kind of animals..which is the hardest thing 2 train in the world..they dun change easily...tats y..like me..nw..i still din change any..but i realise there's somthin..somthin we can do bout it..2 make ppl blive..2 make ppl change the point of view they hv in u..2 change ur point of view...2 tis world..n 2 ppl around u...like me..i dun really into love story stuff..but lately..i kinda fell in love wif it..not 2 say i change my hobbies..but i change my view..n i found out tat..theres alot of things tat i understand thro it..n at the same time..there's alot of regretment from it..i hate myself y i dun do things earlier...if i do so...i would hv understand alot of stuff b4 tis..n i could hv change things n prevent it from happenin like tis...i dunno whether is it 2 late 4 me..but...no matter wat..i'll still try 2 fight..tats y..i take tat challange on..come on n keep challenge me..1 day..i blive..1 day..i'll b bac the champion holder...jus like the same old time..n i'll never let it go nor slip away from my finger tips~

takin examination from the heaven~

life..gettin harder n harder...but i blive..nw its jus som kind of examination given by God n u...i wish it could pass away soon..but i noe i hv 2 b patient..n wait..these few nights..i was so tired..but in the middle of the night i will still wake up in a sudden...n start 2 hate myself..y i will hv tis kind of life n in tis kind of situations...y b4 i been thro all tis,i learnt how 2 appreciate u 1st..y..there were alot of questions keep on appearin in my mind..but everytim when theres a question pop out..i will tell myself...kenn,u mus not giv up..work harder..stay calm..n things will pass n ur life will b better..even tho its jus a pray..but still..i blive~

beyond the expectation~

well..lately alot of things happen on my life..which..somtims im confuse of wat am i bein thro..but somtims..tats the motivation where i continue 2 live on my life..i mean..if...i can choose 2 live happily..y dun i choose tat path..well..yes,somtims..i seriously get dissapointed n sad..but yet..jus hope if can..dun say wat...at least i hope every1 around me could b happy..at least happier than me la...n...exspecially u...^^

confusion~

wat should i do nw..i really dunno..i mean..should i continue wat im doin nw..?or should i jus let it go..but i dun wanna let it go..som1 plz help me..plz drag me out from tat hell..plz..u..help me..m..

new born~!!!

again...no1 really view my blog..haizz..nvm..still i'll write..2day is the 1st day of my college life in segi kl..well,at 1st i'll register in tis scl coz i found tat there quite some numbers of hot chicks...but when my 1st lesson started..i felt like goin down 2 the management department n tell them i wanna quit~NO CHICKS!!!!!MY GOD!ARRGHHH!!!EVEN HANG YEW'S CLASS GOT AT LEAST 1..
MINE ZERO!!!!!!!!!DULAN~~~!!!!!haizz..nvm...oreadi register..study la..hope my life will b better coz it seriously goin down..very very down n unlucky le~!!!!nvm lo..then jus nw when chat wif baby..i still hv 2 teach her on...on..walao~du7lan oreadi lo..i mean..im teachin her 2 get along better wif him..which i wanna grab her from him..arrgghh~~~!!!u guys when read tis it might b confusin but..arrgghh~!!dulan...dulan dulan dulan~!!!unlucky year 2 me le~!!!

a nice morning n life...

wat a nice morning i had n a great life til i cant held myslef but 2 on the pc quickly n blog it...yea right..cut the bull shit...I HV A SUCK N FUCK UP MORNING N LIFE!!!!!!!!!!ARGGHH!!!!!!y do i hv a life like tis..??!!!damn shit..y will everythin turns up into tis..i hate it like tis!!!!!!i hate it...i wanna cry...but my tears oreadi dried...my heart was jus like a torn paper bein tear apart again n again into small small pieces...y would u do tis 2 me...y u keep wantin me..forcin me 2 giv up on u..y??!!!it used 2 b the world most beautiful love story but y is the endin like tis...god..r u playin wif my life or wat...y is everybody treatin me like tis!!!nw i understand wats the life i should hv..nw i understand wat kind of X'mas..birthday i should hv...alone..lonely..n cold...jus like tis blog...no matter how hard i try 2 write it down...no1 will jus come in anymor...it'll jus left there alone...n cold...

akward feel...

yesterday..i n my fren suppose 2 watch transformer in cinema..but when we wanted 2 buy the tickets..we found out tat its oreadi full...except 4 the midnight 1...so...bsides than watchin movie,we change our plan..after hvin our dinner we jus hang around in mv..dunno y...whn i 1st step into mv yesterday..my mind starts 2 recall bac all the memories i had..jus like a video tape recorder...i remember last years annivesary wif baby..we decided 2 come 2 mv...jus hang around 4awhile b4 we went 2 tuition...tat day...it was awful..i mean..at 1st we were very happy..but til when the time we gonna go..baby found out tat the diamond on her ring was gone..she was so sad n worried tat we keep 2 search 4 a lil small diamond in such big shopping complex..tat time,honestly,i swear i din even angry baby..not even bit...i was happy n sad at the same time...she was so care bout the things i gave her..n tat was the 1st valentine's present i gav her...n i was sad coz i cant really buy her a good ring..tat time i swear tat in the future..i'll work very very hard..earn alot of money..n giv her a very comfortable life...i was so so so love in her...haizz...but..dunno y..everythin seems 2 change nw...is it my fault....?..r its another test tat GOD is givin me...i really dunno...im so confused...but wat i noe is..i never let u go..i'll never do...n i'll oways love u~

still waiting~

i guess...this blog will not bein view by any1 for the mean time...i mean..no 1 really cares bout my life either...bsides than u...b4 these..ppl noe me coz of u...u bring the colour into my life..without u..it'll onli b black n white...i dunno wat 2 do anymore..somtims im stupid...shits will jus come out from my mouth..but i really din mean anythin..its jus tat..no matter wat i did or said..no1 will blive me..n every1 thinks tat im bad...tats all..wat did i did wrong in my life..y..its like my faith..no matter how hard i tried..end up..all the hard works will jus appears 2 b a piece of shit...crap..tat ppl will jus throw on the floor..step over it n walk away...