well,nw im hvin my holiday til 6 of september as my degree program starts..hmm..a long holiday,bored n bored n bored..my god..everyday..as i wake up,i hv to think..yea..another day..i dunno wat to do..wanderin around..3 pm i hv to work..til evening n hv a quick dinner then i hv to work again..god..its so bored..all my time hv been stuck up..i dunno wat to do..i mean..well,mayb ppl see me keep on workin its like good la,then u'll earn alot of money..yea right..i hv to work like shit n face all kinds of problems n challenges everyday..salary doesnt even attractive..everyday i keep on thinkin is there anyway to let me earn more n more..bt til the end..wat i got its not enuf at all..nw im actually earnin for myself..my parents no nid to spend money on me bt..its sufferin..really really sufferin..1 k per month..hv to use for the whole month n end of the day..i got ntg..life..everyday when i go home..on my pc n go to fb..expectin my so call japan gf to reply me or chat..none..my actual 1..she aint giv a shit on me nw..dunno whether she's busyin on her study or wat bt i dun hv the strenght to care anymor..huh...i still remember my last exam..the essay tat i wrote was way to got a happy life..a sentence tat i oways use to encourage ppl is oways enjoy wat u'r doin..bt..i dun..i dun at all..im findin a way out..life's is like a single man whos trap in a empty island..no way to out..hopin everyday tat som1 might jus discover me..bt in the end..dissapointment is full in my heart..nw..its rainin..n im in the college waitin for a lecturer to sign my application form to degree..haizz..bored..i wanna go for a vacation..to relax..bt my wallet is oways empty..read the newspaper n a guy..he went around the world..without spendin any money..he survived by jus acceptin frens around the world tat he dun even noe..i mean..those ppl r from fb..he post n hopin ppl around the world to support the financial needs whenever he went to a place..how admired i was when i read bout the news..i wish i could do tat bt i noe i cant..i hv to stay jus to take care of my family..everyday i sign in front of my mum..bt i still hv to wear a smile jus to show her tat im strong enuf to life..they oreadi hvin enuf streesed to fund my siblings..i dun wanna add on pressure on them..sis's startin to grow up n her mind set was bein polluted by frens around..bt we'r tryin hard to pull her bac..bro..dun even mention bout him..in my eyes..he's jus a loser..not to say tat i look down at him bt yea..he is..everyday busy bout her stupid gf tat feels like he abandone the family..wat i wish for is not much bt a place for me to jus spill out all my suffer..everyday every night..i hope to go out..jus to find som frens n hv fun..searchin in my life tat som1 could jus understand me..1 thing..1 day i dreamed bout my 1st gf n 2nd..these 2 r my favourite honestly..well,in tat dream..i manage to get bac wif my 1st,melanie..n my 2nd gf,lydia..yup,she's wif her bf..in tat dream..i was happy..at least i noe i got a chance to redo wat i did wrong..when i awake..everythin change bac to normal..i text mel to asked few question of coz..well,she rejected as i expected..i noe i was stupid to ask bt..haizz..enuf of tat..when she read bout tis,for sure she'll say tat im ammature again..i dun blame her..i noe she's a special girl in the end..i let her go when i noe tat my best fren is givn a hope on her...lydia..im glad tat she got wat she want nw..seriously..u guys noe..a zombie game name left 4 dead..tat has been a life tat i oways hope for..i mean not to say to b cruel or wat..bt in tat game..frenship,hopes r oways around..they fought for life..for frens..for wat they hope to jus stay alive everyday..might b lonely bt at least..they got a dream..a dream to revive the world..llokin at ppl nwadays disgusted me alot..ppl r selfish..they do wat they nid to do in order to protect themselves..in my mind..whenever ppl nids help n i could..i will oways lend a hand to help them survive thru the problems..y..y ppl aint goin for a try..y..y ppl r so selfish..world is endin n i could see it..every1 could..disaster r happenin everywhere..dispict of gettin closer..ppl dun even care bt makin things worst..come on..care bout every1 around u..plz..make the world more colourful like b4..stop wars n killings..stop all the crime tat u'r doin..at least..lend a hope of urs to the world..