jus come bac..hu~2day din hv class..but still went to college coz tot to study as my exam i gettin near..well,eventually after i reach college i met up wif my fren n we go hv our lunch..after lunch we went to the library n study awhile..it was around like 2 pm then we decide to go to his gf's workin place at kepong jusco..n we'r at kl tat time..so we hv to take a bus n its like half n hour to reach there..we watched a movie while waitin for his gf to finish up her work..well,hv dinner there n go bac..the whole journey from kl to kepong n to sri petaling..we hv to take a bus from kl,then reach kepong..after tat we take a bus as well go bac to kl n then take lrt bac to sri petaling..it was a long journey..i asked him everytim his gf come n find him,she has to take such long journey..he say yea,no short cut at all..i was like..wow..ok..when we go bac..it was like 9pm..the whole kl road was so quiet as there were not many cars around..the silence reminds me of tat time..the 1st time i went to genting alone to find u..take a bike to go to ur house jus to walk wif u to work..even tho its jus a 3 mins meet up..but its worthy 4 me to even ride so fast jus to see u earlier n get knocked down by cars few times..even if i was so scared tat i'll get lost or somthin..i'll stil go meet u wif u in klcc..to the clubhouse..coz of the feelings of lovin u was so strong..it nearly makes me bcome so brave tat i was not scare of everythin n will jus do anythin jus to see u,n protect u...but ever since u left..the courage was all gone..left onli the empty shell..a coward n a jerk..im nw nothing but a useless person..i missed u,baby....

hmm..yesterday i had a very exhaustin day of workin in the restaurant..after work i hav to stay awake to wait for my bro to fetch me to go bac home..phew..tot i could hav a gd nite slp..n had a good dream of coz..well,at 1st tat dream suppose to b good..i mean..it is good..its been a long long time ever since i had a nice dream where u were there..its jus like the old times..we hang out,hold hands..hugs...we'r still couple..who noes..out of a sudden..i dunno wat happen the image jus change into where we happens to b in a fight..we both keep quiet to prevent the fight get worst..i was like wat the fuck..y suddenly fight again..i wanna hv a nice good dream wif u..y suddenly i'll get angry n fight again..y am i such a jerk..!!!!yiesh!!!!haizz..y..mayb i am a jerk which onli deserve tis kind of lonely life..haizz...

few days bac b4 i left my hometown,i got tis song from my uncle..yea..its bit old..but..the 1st time i heard it..dunno y i felt tat there's a heavy loneliness feelings strike straight to the deepest part of my heart...tis song...it..suits me..the feelings of mine nw..

sarah mclachlan-angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
oh~And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here


mayb i am in the arms of the angel...but even if there is som comfort wrapin around me..its still cold...without u...

yoyoyo~~~haizz..yo wat la,idiot...pretend to b cool again..watever...im jus a idiotic jerk~~~haizz..sien a...sien a...oways wonder wat kind of life will i get in the future..hmm..rich 1..??or poor..but no matter wat..it'll jus b so bored without u~yea..single life may has its own benefits..but when u'r alone for somtims..u'll noe tat love from family n frens jus arent enuf to fill up the emptiness of ur heart...i try to laugh,i try to smile...i try everythin i could jus to make myself look happy in front of every1..but when im alone..the laughter,smile,happiness..all gone..gone for good..im alone..lonely..n cold...im jus pretendin..a disguiser i guess..a very good 1..hmm..theres a time where i can read ur mind n balance it up wif my actions n emotions..but slowly..the love of mine torwards u suddenly grow too strong til its out of my control...i lost control of everythin..i started to act like a wild beast...totally out of control..tats y it scares u away...far far away from me...i try my best to pull u bac..end up..i screwed up everythin of coz...after so long..i slowly started to learn to control again..learn to balance every single emotions i have so tat i wont repeat the same mistakes as i did...nw..even if theres som sort of ''emergency''..i'll still able to maintain it calmly...n slowly..my eyes opens..n finally it allows me to see the world...still hangin around for u..hopin to be recovered...i missed u so much...where the moon starts to fall its beautiful white light down to the earth...where the sun shines up its gorgeous warm lights..whenever the wind starts to blow,n deliver its calmin n cheerful feelings..whenever every single breath u take even til the day ur soul is been sent bac to God..every single time my heart beats..it reminds me tat today...my love for u is gettin stronger...i love u...

hmm..had an awful night yesterda..cant slp..felt damn suffer..dunno y my heart is so damn pain n hurt..its like bleedin again..haizz..after so damn long..i still miss u so much...y..y cant i jus let go..its unfair to say tat i din try..i tried very very hard b4..but no way its gettin out of my heart..plz..som1..help me..i try to find som1 to talk..but at the end of the day,i dun wish every1 coz of me they feel sad..coz i effect their emo as well..haizz..i hv to take it all by myself..its oways like tis..no 1 can help me bsides than my own self...im in pain again..y...plz..som1..explain to me..som1 help me..som1..plz..release me...

hmm..16 of feb..jus got stung by a stupid bee..damn it..i noe tat im sweet,but doesnt mean tat u can stung me..idiot..luckily i got u n crushed u into pieces..well,2day we goin bac from our hometown..spend around 4 days 4 nights over there..it brings bac alot of memories thro tis special chinese new year..yea..mayb its very lonely to been thro both specail day alone..but..guess its still not my turn to get somthin i wan yet..mayb i nid somemor time to train myself tats y..from tis trip bac to my hoemtown..i learnt..yea..family is important..but not all...no matter wat..theres somthin..somthin tat live in ur heart..somethin tat was keep on waitin..waitin for the other part to appear..somethin we call love...family might b very important to us..but at the same time we cant lost our love as well,frenship,family,love n social..4 things..we mus oways learn to balance it..none of these 4 can we b lost track of...i lost 1..but its ok as im still waitin..still trainin myself..learnin alot of stuff n til 1 day..i believe it'll come bac to me..i blive til the day comes..at least..it'll b the reason y im still breathin..still standin n still smiling..coz i blive...

hmm..the 2nd day of cny..well,2night the sky was empty..mayb it was bout to rain tats y...tis afternoon she replied my msg..finally..well,it was bit late as it was after 1 day i msg her..but..like wat ppl says,somthin is better than nothing..hmm..i din hv a chance to chat much wif her as she got somthin to do n gotta go very soon...haizz...its so damn lonely for tis cny...nothing jus seems to attract my ny mood to come out from the bottom of my heart..not like the past few years as i was so excited every night to call her n share wif her wat happens on tat particular day..haizz..guess n who i can share my stuff is jus myself...no1 else..so my dear blog..nw u oreadi startin tp replace any1 in tis world n bcome my listener~~im bored of everythin..b4 tat,when she left me,i learn to appreciate everythin which i had..family,frenship,stuff..bt nw..my body is gettin weaker..im gettin more n more tired..im done wif everythin..i guess..its jus too tired to stood up by jus 1 person..jus single..its jus too hard..im oreadi very lucky to hang on til nw..guess its time for me to let go..guess...im jus nothing but a dusk in tis big unniverse...im jus...nothing but a tiny little thing...god,jus take my soul n let me relief~~

hmm..nw its 14th night..yea..few hours to go b4 the valentines day ends..hmm..2day still hvin tat down mood..mayb coz of tat,i scare tat it'll chase away my luck tats y i din go for the family gamblin tis year..hmm..tis morning onli i found out tat the msg tat i sent to her bro for the cny n valentines wishes was not sent..i dunno y mayb coz her bro din on his hp or somthin..when i wanna sent to her mum or dad onli i found out tat i oreadi deleted their contact numbers..n when i tried to called her cousin..he change his contact oreadi....n again when im tryin to get her best fren..yup..she change her contact again...GOSH~!!!i was so damn pissed..then,i try to ask her bro's fren to see whether i got his contact correct anot..til nw,she din even reply...yea..funny huh..mayb tis is wat we call it faith..my chinese new year is so damn FUCKED UP!!!!!arghh~!!!!!i try to find som1 to talk wif..none of them..i dun wanna disturb others cny mood..when i student sms me..til half way..she din replied..n i guess shes busy or somthin..i myself dun hv the mood to care bout these anymor..so damn moody nw..yiesh~!!!!!y the fuck am i soo damn bad luck!!!!i try my best not to think..i try my best to learn..i try my best to do everythin til the best..y..y everytim these kind of fuckin things happens to me!!!wats wrong wif my life~!!!!arghh!!!!!!!!i hate ME!!!!!!!!!

well...it jus reach the first day of chinese new year nw..yup..jus past 12 n im over here typin my blog..hmm..tis year is a tiger year..they said tat tiger year doesnt mean as it'll eat up the goat..well,im the goat of coz..in fact,the goats will b hvin a lucky year in the tiger...well,it might b..to other goats..but to me..i dun think so..hmm..i jus come bac to my hometown yesterday night..when i left my head n look at the sky..my god..it was so beautiful..the stars..all of them shines like diamonds...it reminds me of the night sky view in the redang island..n at the same time..it reminds me of u again..tat time when i was at the redang island..i missed u so much..same goes to u..coz over there i cant use my cell to msg u..we both missed each other so much..but nw...even today is valentines day plus chinese new year..so wat...no matter wat kind of big days,im still alone over here..alone..cold..empty...haizz....cant help to think..y all these happens...i used to think im the happinest guy in the world..but nw..i guess all those r jus some beautiful dreams tat god gave it to me coz He pity me..nw he has to take it bac as we hv to wake up from our dream som days...yea..wake up n bac again to my stupid empty life..sucks...haizz...no use of all these blamin...it jus wont change anythin...im so lonely...alone...

hmm..finally,tis afternoon as i was hvin my lunch..got a msg n all the misunderstandin solved~~i mean she oreadi apologize..so its ok..coz all of these r jus misunderstandin..im jus bein so rough coz its my natural self defence system..so..sorry n yup..nw its peace again..yay~~~anyway...im goin bac to hometown..so i wont b able to on9 4 like 4-5 days...hmm..thinkin bac in last time..whenever its night,i n u will b chattin n talk bout wat happened on tat day..but nw guess i'll talkin to myself of wonderin wat r u doin nowadays..did u go bac n celebrate wif ur family or still workin...haizz...everythin change so fast..its jus a blink of an eye its oreadi like 7 months we break up...hope u hv a happy chinese new year n lovely valentines day wif him...ti amo~

BLUEK~~~!!!god..i feel like pukin man...yuck~!!!!oh plz..u appreciate frens~??harlo..plz dun make me laugh again...gosh...lookin at wat u wrote seriously make me sick la...u noe wat..nw..i dun feel like gettin ''peace'' wif u..fight..neh..i dun even care anymor~~u dun even hv the heart to make things peace...i can see it through ur eyes tat u dun...dun lie bout it~yuck~~fine..gonna stop thinkin of tat disgustin thing~anyway..2day i went to mv to watch a movie,piercy jackson n the lightning thief..hmm..how to describe it..at the beginin of the movie..its not bad..but at the end..==..they jus simply get a endin n tats it..haizz..another failure movie...tot it would b interestin..nvm..things around oways dissapoited me anyway..hmm..but im lookin forward to watch iron man 2..it looks nice in the trailer..^^..hmm..valentines day is comin..yea..tis year..a very special 1..single..after gettin thro 3 years of valentines day wif her..tis is the 1st year tat im alone again..haizz...dunno y..til nw...whenever there's footsteps of hers..there's where my tears startin to flow~~the sound of the breakin heart was keep on repeatin inside me...the feelin of loneliness wasnt good at all...but no matter wat..wat done is done..jus hope she has a very happy chinese new year n valentines day wif her bf nw..i love u...sorry tat i dun hv the chance to celebrate wif u tis year..

haizz..damn borin..early in the mornin..once log in fb nia then saw ppl start shootin me again..haizz..bla bla bla..yea..im stupid..im idiot..im failure..im ghost..im bad worm in the class..im jus a jerk or son of the bitch or watever shit la..ok..???haizz..sien..dunno y ppl jus act stupidly...anyway..2day went to sg.wang n ts wif my bro..brought 2 clothes n a pair of shoes..i love wat i bought tho..they fits me~~^^..yay yay..hmm..end of the day..yea..arguein wif ppl was the fun part..hvin to own wat u like is oso enjoyable..but when u noe tat ur heart is empty..there no longer b fun or enjoy anymor...feel so lonely...so so so lonely..haizzz...watever i do..everytim...its oways wrong..coz humans jus dun like to hear the truth..coz humans jus dun like to noe their true self..coz im..im oways alone~

lalala~~so happy nw...^^..its a relief~~~haizz..dunno wats wrong wif som ppl's mind..y they keep thinkin tat they'r so big til every1 has to folo watever they say..my god..who the hell u think u r~???hmm???yea..im wrong at 1st coz i dunno tat person whos talkin is u then i start shoutin..but i oreadi apologize for tat..after tat..wat i do is jus ask not to fight..b back like frens we use to b..apa pula salah...then..she start to shoot me again~~~ok..fine...then i change..ask ppl to gather up...watever u wanna say tat day..u say it out..at least after u say out all the misunderstandin..it'll b better..then..she start to shoot me again..shoot shoot shoot shoot..adui~~~~yala..tak payah bayar..tapi tengokla apa yang kau sedang buat..say wat nid time la..bla bla bla..wat time do u nid..??we'r not forcin u to pay millions of dolars oso..we'r jus tryin to solve all those misunderstandin..the best way is sit down n talk nicely..while hvin somthin to drink..==..n somemor its not tat last time we stab u wif a knife..nw we nid to stab u again..u wanna heal from wat..??takda brain langsung...n wat i do wrong..y u keep shoot me like tis..??n u expect me to keep quiet pula..eh dei..if its u..after u been shoot,scold,insult by som1 so badly in the public without doin anythin wrong..will u jus keep quiet n smile..??haizz..nvm..coz all these actions will jus make her look like a joker..so wat i do is..reply..then sit bac..take up my biscuits..n drinks..relax n enjoy tat joker's show~~^^^peace~

my god..noe wat..my college life is gettin better n better n better..i mean..at 1st i tot my college life will b so bored tat everyday after class i hv to go hang around in mv in order to pass my time..but nw..i dun think so..my life is gettin better..theres some joker in my class..tat person makes me laugh like hell man..seriously..i dunno how to discribe her..1 word..funny~haha..muaxx~i love u guys..yea..after i post everythin..i dun hv to use my eyes oreadi i can see..alot of ppl will jus avoid gettin close to me i guess in order to prevent been suck into the fight but well..dun worry,u guys still my good frens..i understand..its jus tat i hv to make som1 wake up n look at her foolish action..use foul words..bla bla bla..watever...i dun mind..i used to those words..they'r jus like my frens~~~so watever u'r doin is jus makin me to say hi to my frens~^^yay peace~~~

hmm..well..alot of stuff happens in scl lately..since sem 2..it jus doesnt seems to b a happy sem to all of us..i mean..i tried so hard for not to look at wats wrong wif u guys..i dun wanna noe..its like so sad to see u guys like tis,we use to be such good frens in sem1..we hang out 2gether,we chat 2gether..we hv so much of funs..wats wrong wif u guys nw??y r u all actin like tis..???where's the frenship had gone to??wats so big deal if u din get to hang out wif som of us few times..??i mean u guys oways hang out without me..duh??do i nid to get angry wif tat small matter??no,damn it..if i do it'll makes me look like an amature..do i hv to hv such huge reaction if som1 in our class like each other but 1 of them oreadi hv partners??no..even if they hv partners of their own..doesnt mean tat they'll get along til end of life..n nw they didnt even start doin wat..jus a relationship which is better than best fren but not couple..so wat..??they din do ntg wrong...if u like it,ok..support..if u dun like it,then shut up n f** off ok??im so damn sick of the class..tats y i've been oways late to scl so tat once i get into the class,i can jus start studyin without lookin at u guys..i hate the feelings of surrounded by those f**in bad emotions..wats wrong wif u guys..seriously wats wrong??!!!wake up guys..wake up!!we r frens..we r a team~~then we should act like a team..not enemies~!!!dun jus look at things from the creak,look at the world thro the sky,the whole universe!!we'r not gonna live like thousands of years so appreciate wat u hv nw..u dun noe wats the feelings of losin somthin precious to u,I DO!!OK??!!SO WAKE THE FUCK UP B4 I CANT STAND OF THE ATTITUDES OF U GUYS N START SLAPPIN U ONE-BY-ONE TIL U'R TOTALLY WAKE UP!!!