jus nw i suddenly feel lke steppin into my 1st gf's blog n see..well,she open another neew blog..inside there she uses a fake name..bt another name in it kept me wonder..i dunno y..mayb out of curious or jus..dunno la..hmm..i smsed her n ask n she din reply..hmm~anyway..dun care her 1st..her new blog,touched me..not much,not little..bt jus~at the right spot..n tat feelin..my god i tell u,its like somthin attractin u,n when u wanna get close,it goes away..when u giv up,it come bac again~~annoyin yet attractin..touchin..it recalls alot of my memories ever since i get along wif her til my 2nd gf..tell u the truth..lets see..i hv around like 4-5 gf bf..bt..among those..these 2 girls r the ones which affect me alot~!!!my 1st gf's name was melanie..she's a cute girl n my primary sclmates..we met bac each other in form 2 as we'r in the same class..at 1st,we dun really talk..slowly i cant really remember y..we started to talk alot..n slowly n slowly,i fell in love wif her..she's simple,cute,nice,ammature~~XP bt yet when all tis combine 2gether,it doesnt make her look childish,she has her own way of solvin things..n tats wat attracts me..bt after 3 months,we broke up..mayb yes mayb not bt her close fren told me it was coz of one of my best fren n yea..we argue bout it for quite som tim..i mean me n my fren..bt in the end,ntg happen btwn us~~^^..nw my 2nd gf..tis girl..wao..it was a fantasy i told u..coz i..i myself never ever blive tat i hv a chance to b wif such beautiful girl~!!bt in the end as well,all i hv is jus another fantasy given by God..well,we met each other in form 3..actually b4 tis,when in form 1,we study in the same class b4 for like half a year then she switch to another class as the scl department make bit adjustment so we met bac each other in form 3..well,tat year i still remember..i cried alot..for my 1st gf..i was so sad like for 4 months...no..more than tat..even after i get wif my 2nd gf..yea,i noe i noe..im bad im a jerk blablabla..hey,u cant blame me~~its not so easy to let it go when u'r seriously into somthin n plus,i am seriously into u~~~==..ok,fine..cont wif my 2nd gf..well,in tat year,i was chosen to b the class monitor..or i should say tats the year the ''class monitor'' curse started to hunt me..coz til nw,im still holdin the position.yea,even til college..==..well,anyway..i cant really concentrate on my duty as im still holdin on my 1st gf..so i was kinda moody the whole period in scl..til 1 day..i saw my 2nd gf,she was sittin at the bac door of the scl alone..when i walk near her,i heard tat she was cryin..tat time,i dunno wat to do n the 1st thing in my mind is,give her a hug n tell her everythin will b fine..bt i reconsider..if i jus go n hug her,for ure i'll get a heavy slap..so end up..i jus sit bside her..n say its ok,ntg cant b solve n blablabla..yea..tats the moment we started to chat..tat time,she was still bein wif her ex,which nw is her bf again~==..bt they keep on arguein..n im the 1 who's keep comfort her everytim they argue n say its ok,coz he cares bout u n stuff..n at the same time,she comfort me as well whenever i think of my 1st gf n sobs in scl..yea,kinda embarrassed..then..slowly..yea..we fell in love again~~wif her...i been thro alot of stuff..i did alot of stuff tat i never think tat i'll do in my life..alot of sacrifies,bravery,experiences n alot of 1st timer..well,could say tat its a whole fantasy journey wif her..both of us jus like the main characters in a love story..our love story is so dramatic..even frens around us were sayin tat..yea..they tot tat we wont b so easy to break off from the chain,bt yet..its jus a tip of a hand..she got bac wif her ex again..n it was til i found it out..then onli she break wif me..at 1st,i seriously hate her alot u noe..i even thinkin of jus do somthin stupid,yea..wat a ammature..bt..in the end,slowly..as i started to realise alot of stuf..i let her go..jus..like tat..even til i wasnt realisin it..yea..amazing..n nw..im her consultant in love again..==haha..bt tis time,i wont fall in love wif her..coz i think she found her mr.right..^^..wish her luck..well,one down,one to go..n u,ms melanie..haizz..u'r the trouble 1..u told me b4..no matter wat happen,u wont accept me bac..u wont fall in love wif me again..yea yea yea..i noe wat i did b4 were way to serious n unforgivenable..bt..haizz..complicated to tell u..jus tat..im really sorry bout those..i noe 1 word wont heal the pain bt..sorry..really...i dunno wat should b spoken,coz whenever i missed u,i'll think of u n my best fren..jus..arggh..the feelin was so complicated..u said tat i was a playboy nw..desperate for girls..bt u dunno tat actually im not..im jus...tryin to find somthin in tis world..somthin we call it ''true love''..since i was young...i dun really got family love as i was the 2nd son,which normally ppl dun really love them,they onli concern for the 1st n the last..n i was oways bein bullied by others..as i grow older..i learn to protect myself..bt yet,inside the sheild,its empty..ntgs in there..the 1st love i had was a failure coz of my temper,the 2nd,same..nw..finally i get to control it more n more..n im gettin better in it..bt,when i look bac..i saw tat everythin b4 tis...i missed it..i missed it all~~its jus too late..no matter wat i do..its jus too late..bt i oways pray to god..god,give me a chance to return to the past n do it right again..well,we all noe tat its impossible..nw,i dun wanna go bac..i wanna start it again~haizz..bt i dun think i hv the chance lo..actually..u all dun understand me..im jus a simple boy..even tho i might look tough from the outside bt inside is as soft as a feather..try to get into my life n slowly u'll understand me..unfortunately,no1 wanna take the risk of it..all jus gave up b4 tryin..haizz..no choice la..mayb it doesnt seem worth it anyway..hmm..im still waitin..waitin for the chance..n waitin for u..i might look flowery bt im real inside my heart..jus tat im still waitin for u to open it up..uncover the mystery,n discover the truth of it..