~twilight~

at 1st..i tot finally...life start to steady down..but things doesnt seems like it..exam's coming..i got a new job as a tuition teacher again..one form 3 student n one form 5 student..both r taking exam tis year..stressed...plus my own exam..headache...lately my life stlye change alot..not to say into bad or wat..i mean..yea..i got a new hair cut which was bit wild to me..well,tats wat all people around me says..obviously,no one likes my new hair style..my dad was so angry when he saw it..friedns around me says tat it doesnt suit me..technically..its a no..n i bet too..when u saw it..u'll say no as well..but...hmm..jus tot of changin somthin..life isnt as smooth as i tot..i hv been thro a long period of thought...i oways wanted the person tat i love n care to be happy oways..but end up..im the one who oways make them sad n heartbreak..i oways tot watever i do is all for their best considered...but tats wat all i tot..start from the early i noe i was bit controlled..but actually its jus not bit..its alot..imagination is jus not enuf 4 me to live on..tats y i oways hurt people tat i love the most..especially u...i had missed the path of turning bac..when people around me asked bout u..my heart will still break even things happened quit long ago..when i heard bout u..it feels the same as well..i dun dare to face the past as i dun dare to look at u anymore..i love u so much but it doesnt seem tat i got the chance to continue loving u..u said tat i hv to live on wif my life..wat all i can do its jus stay on low n quite..so tat i wont disturb u anymore..im so sorry tat i dissapoited u again as i break my promise to u..but tat will be the lst promise tat i'll break as i will keep the others til eternity..my life..well..thinkin of mixing around wif my class but seems tat everyone its keep somthin away from me which i doesnt know wat is it..i felt tat there's an invisible wall between us tat i will never break thro..started to hate the stupid me..i oways messed things up..tis coming saturday..my house will b having a party..i tot of inviting u over if..we still together..but nw..i jus hope tat u'r happy n safe..i love u..

ur blog was left oevr again..not onli ur blog..but everythin..since u were gone..dunno y i tired 2 4get u..dunno y i try so hard to live on..dunno y i try not to love u anymore..but dunno y all these doesn't seems to work at all..tell me y things hv to turn into like tis..tell me y tat u'll leave me..tell me y tat i cant love u anymore..tell me y tat our love is gone at all...

i guess..it'll have 2 b a long time b4 u sign in ur blog again..it has been bout 3 weeks u been there..non-stop wonderin hows ur life goin..r u ok?i missed u so much..ppl who read my blog has been so bored of me oways talking bout u..my feelings n stuff..but i dun care..i'll jus keep on writin coz i hope one day u'll sign in..sign in again n read it..one day..u'll noe how i feel..let u go...life around me r weird lately..i met a girl..which acts like u b4..makes me remind of u..she stays bside me when i was sad..she accompany me..jus like u do..but i noe..i'll oways b alone..no matter wat happen unless u return..no matter who appears..its jus not u..im not actin stubborn..jus tat i never stop lovin u..love is tat suppose to b..never stop lovin som1 even til the last moment of life..finally i manage to feel tat n understand it..lookin at ppl around me..i noe myself i cant accept any1 of them..i wont wan the m2 b the shadow of urs..theres no one can replace u in my heart..alot of articles i had read..alot of words i had understand..n i jus hope tat u can jus stay bside me..share wif me..jus like b4..even tho i noe..time jus wont turn bac..im still waitin 4 u..baby..

2day is 9 of september..yea..a very very special day among those couples..hmm..dunno u all blive anot a..early in the year..i planned for this day as well..yea yea yea..bla bla bla..u all mus b thinkin..dunno true anot 1..everythin oso say plan plan plan..yea..its on u whether u wanna blive it anot..but..i did plan 4 it..plus..tis comin 24 oso..suppose 2 b our anniversary...but..yea...hmm..jus nw..i sent msg 2 her again..yup..as i expect..no reply...its been 2 weeks she stay at there..oways wander is she ok..is she safe??did she oways has her meal on time??wat is she doin nw..?is she happy..??all kinds of silly questions...tat day..even tho its very very hurting..but dunno why..no matter wat..i'll jus love u...wat a silly guy i am..but tats who i am..never leave u alone..so wish 2 hug u nw..so wish 2 kiss u nw..so wish 2 tell u tat i love u nw..so wish...2 jus hold u hand again...so wish...

touched~

男女之間交往中，女生總是為男生付出。
所以吵架時，女生會說：『我為你做那麼多，為什麼你感受不到？』
男生也就這樣沉默了下來……
女生說『不說話了？你有對我付出過嗎？』
男生的付出，是在無形的……
雖然那舉動不大
他可以每天放學載妳回家
可以大方牽住妳的手
可以帶你ㄧ起想玩的地方
可以在情人節送妳玫瑰花和一句：我愛妳
所以男人沉默，不是沒為妳付出過
而是ㄧ切盡在不言中
他想說出口，但是卻無法從哪時開始說起
因為他付出也很多！

真正付出的男生，是不需要言語說出口。
也因為有在付出，所以他很瞭解妳。
知道妳怕孤單
知道妳怕蟑螂
知道妳怕看恐怖片
知道妳需要一個真正的幸福...

就因為這樣，付出的男生。
容易被劈腿的女生利用……
也因為這樣，付出的男孩。
還在這場愛情找不到方向。

付出的男生，不管付出多少
他愛妳，他才肯付出。
當然，有些女孩只喜歡物質上的付出…
卻忘記了愛情真正需要的是什麼？
愛，不能用金錢換取。
愛，是需要內心去體會。

付出的男生，有些不是很會說話、也有些不是很會耍浪漫。
不是很會說話，
但是他可以透過最原始的一句話在適當場合、節日對妳說出『我愛妳』。
不是很會耍浪漫，
但是他可以用心挑選妳的禮物，再給妳個深情擁抱。

付出是在默默中進行，不是言語表達就能詮釋出來。

那個還在為妳付出的他，妳感受到了嗎？




finally,i found somthin..somthin which i wanna tell u so so long..but i dunno how 2 say it out..dunno wat words 2 use..dunno how 2 let u noe..coz i love u..tats y i dun wan my words 2 hurt u..coz i love u,tats y i dunno wat word 2 use..coz i love u..tats y..i love u..