YES~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FINALLY I DID IT~~~~!!!!i got as gf~~~i love u so much jasmine..over here dun hv ur scl spies le gua..hehe..but u oso dunno my blog jek..hehe..nvm..im so so so so happy 2day..at 1st i was so damn nervour in the morning coz its our 1st time to meet..early in the morning i oreadi wake up to wash up n start stylin my hair coz i wanna look nice the whole day..so alot of wax was on my hair 2day...then..after scl n i had my lunch..i rush to mv jus to buy the ticket..but unfortunately i cant buy the ticket for ice kacang puppy love coz no more ticket..so we change into watchin when in rome..wella love story..suits us..but u say u dun wanna watch it coz u never heard of tat movie b4..butin the end..u agreed to watch it coz i oreadi bought the ticket..then i started to rush to ur scl coz hopin to giv u a surprise..who noes after i waited..n u sms me sayin tat u oreadi at mv..n i rush to mv again~~haizz...finally we meet up n started to wake to the cinema..well..as i saw form ur pic..u look normal..not tat pretty..not tat cute oreadi special..XP..but slowly..every single little movement of u started to attract me like a magnet..the way u talk..so..nice n cute to me..of all the sudden..i tell myself in the heart..man,u gonna get her 2day n is a mus~!!!!so while we'r watchin movie..i type 2 msg to u n tell u how i feel bout u..n when til the half of the movie..i ask u to b my gf..n started to hold ur hands..ur hands r like so soft..so nice..well..u'r so nervous til ur hands r sweaty but still..i like it..i really do..after the movie..we kinda walk around..chat..n get to noe each other even more..hmm..2day is a great day n 2moro im goin for a family trip to penang..im so sorry tat i cant really accompany u but i promise in the future i'll try my best to do it n..to b the beszt bf u ever had~~^^..i love u,jasmine..

oh my god~~2moro is the big day~~2moro we'r goin to meet up each other la..arrgghh~~~im so so so nervous le~~~how how how..???argghhh...haizz...1st thing..nid to slp early 2night so tat 2moro can wake up early without hvin panda eyes n got enuf time for me to make a very handsom hair style~~^^...hmm...jasmine,u really look very nice n pretty to me la..i mean..well,u may b look very very normal..not very pretty or super fair skin or wat but u hv a beautiful heart tat is much much more better than all those out looks winners~~they'r jus som bitches who thinks tat they look nice n can go around flirt wif guys..they disgusted me..so dun worry..u'r the best~~XD..gosh..blass me god...dun jus bless me..blass me off to the heaven n guide me 2moro..

OMG~!!!!!ARRGGHHH..tis friday we'r goin out a~~~~die lo die lo~~~~!!!so nervous la..i jus cut my hair...look so messy..n..n..arrgghh..so nervous le..hmm...at 1st we plan to go out n catch a movie on tis comin saturday..but i got too excited til i totally 4gotten tat im goin for a trip to pinang wif my family..n yea..we hv to cancel it n i felt so bad coz its our 1st outin n i hv to dissapoint her..but jus we plan again to watch movie at tis friday b4 i go to pinang~!!!wow~~!!!!my god..im so nervous le~~~!!!!i scare later if she see im not handsom enuf..then start to avoid me n stuff then i jia lat lo~!!!!!haizz..so so so so nervous....nid HELP~~!!!ERGEN!!!!!

hmm..after my b'day..by a b'day wish from u to me..we started to chat in fb..n slowly..we sms-ed each others...im not sure yet whether u'r can b the 1 tat light up my whole life again but u noe wat..i think u caught my heart..as u say..im the stupid butterfly n u'r the crazy butterfly catcher~both of us still dunno each other well..but i really hope to noe u more..ur appearance really startin to coloured my life..but nw all i can do is wait..i dun wish to b very aggresive n scares u away..i really hope to try it out wif u...the feelin when we both chat..it makes me very comfortable yet nervous..this kind of feelin had longed gone in my life..its great to get it bac..its nice to b accompanied..n sms or chat til u slp at night..n when u'r awake..its coz u missed som1 n it feels so so sweet...even tho all tis r so nice..but in another way..im scared..im not sure wat scares me..is it my past..??or...im so afraid tat all these things seems to b so nice but in the real..it turns out to b jus imaginations...fantasies..none of these r real...im afraid..but..still it doesnt stop me from gettin closer to u..no matter wat,i told myself it'll b jus another experience of life...take it slowly kenn...tats how u protect urself even if its jus a fake...take lessons form ur past..learn not to put it all into it..u can do it..all u nid is jus practice n stay calm....hmm...i hope i really could do it n jasmine..plz...i prayed tat u'r not another hunter who's jus tryin to hunt me down like an animal n throw it away after im useless to u...

2day..2 of my best frens come to my house..b4 tat,we went to taipei walker to borrow their wifi to play dota 2gether wif our new bought laptop n netbooks..^^well..unfortunately,the wifi connection over there aren't really stable so after return to my home..we play again~~><..nw its like 5am..we still hvn't slp yet..but..mom~~i dah tak boleh tahan dah~~~i have to slp oreadi~~dun care bout them la..damn slpy~~^^wat a nice day..finally i get to chat wif a girl tat i think i've started to like her~~^^hope tis will go on smoothly n..i really wish tat we can hav a nice story endin~~~i like u,jasmine~~^^

hmm..dunno y..suddenly hv a feelin tat aafter all wat i been thro..it is time for me to grow again..i mean my mind la..not my body..duh~~but..hmm..yea..even tho i noe its hard but i'll try..i promise to myself tat i'll try my best...to b the BEST~!!!haha..go jie hao go~!!!!!

hmm..jus come from the celebration of my 19th b'day wif my frens..hu~~tired man..but..2day..well..not to say tat im not happy bout it..i am..seriously..but..the surprise they gav..reminds me of my form 5 b'day..hmm..i duno y..i mean..even tho i noe they plan bout it n im really surprise n happy..but..there's still somthin in my heart..somthin tat i dunno how to tell..smthin...mayb..tis b'day without u is different..mayb its oreadi like 4 years i had my b'day wif u but tis year u din even greet..hmm..mayb..there is somthin missin in me..u..

haizz...still left 2 hours to go til my b'day~yea..b4 tis i used to b very happy n excited for my b'day~ya..used to b..hmm..4 years ago~~i still remember on my 15th b'day..i got a very special b'day present..on tat present,it says ''2gether''..my 16th b'day...i got ur 1st hand made cake..on my 17th b'day..it was the greatest b'day i ever had...tats the time when i feel..finally..im so so so so touched by u n i put down all my precaution towards u..n tat time..i really think tat u r the 1..the 1 tat im searchin for in my life..my soul partner..18th b'day..even tot there's bit of an arguement b4 tat but still,im happy of wat u had for me...a very ''special'' card..but..19th b'day..im alone..bringin 2gether wif all the sadness n loneliness..ntg's left on me bsides than scars n wounds...confusions...all runnin in my mind without pause..n u..left me question tat i'll never get the answer..u got my heart b4..the whole of it..but u smashed it..smashed it on the floor..step on it..burn it..tear it..do everythin jus to hurt it til its dead...wat had i done wrong..nw..i noe wat..its not me..but my faith..its meant to b tat im kind of a technician..jus the 1 who repair u..fixed u when u'r broken down..when u'r healed..tats the time u'll leave..n din look bac..n im useless nw..no1...no one..nw all i've left is memories...memories tat i've locked up n kept inside..without u..these memories arent sweet anymor..tears r fallin..heart had broken..wat i had..is an empty vessel~

bitch~!!!fuckin slut~!!!!!!!!niama cao hai..fuckin jb dulan..she played me..dumped me..n nw wat..?try to flirt my bro..??yea..even tho me n my bro arent really tat close but wat the fuck..??wat kind of trouble n disasters tat u still wanna brin to my family hah..??one oreadi bein hurt by u isnt good enuf izzit..??niama...fuck off la..fuck off from my world bitch..i hate see ur face nw i hate to see u get close to any1 or anythin tat r around me...u'r a trouble..a nail in my eyes!!!jb...i hate u for everythin u did b4...nw is not the words of mine who hurt u the most..is wat u did tat curse our memories n locked it to the end of hell...

hmm...yesterday i had a dream again..but tis time i had a dream on a fren of my..a fren which i've not been seein her for a long long time..she's a girl who stay at canadan come bac to malaysia due to her dad's transfer to here coz of works..so..she stay wif us omost for 1 year when im in primary 5...she's cute..i mean..yea..tat time i admitted tat i had a crush on her..n we din really get to talk much coz..i was a corward tat time n..shy..yea..u guys might be thinkin tat im a pussy but...haha..i might look like brave from the outside but when it comes to girls..shy shy la~~~XP..anyway...tat dream suddenly reminds me of her..n damn i missed her so much nw..dunno hows she doin in canada..i search for the whole fb list for her name but i couldn't find anythin boout her..haizz..hope my frens can help me out on tis..i really hope tat god will bless me on tis n at least let me contact wif her bac..sabrina..where r u n how r u nw...




haizz..nw its oreadi 1:22 in the midnight..the weather is rather cold..n tonight..im alone in my room coz my bro has gone out for a trip wif his frens~..hmm..well..im suppose to went out n yamcha wif my frens coz 2day is my best fren's b'day but unfortunately he's not free..busy of his assignment n stuff..blablabla..watever..i dunno y lately my temper is so so weird..alot of things tat is totally out of my control...somtime i can withstand somthin which is so so so annoyin without angry..but somtims..i jus cant stand it but to brust out~well,my tis best fren got ''attack'' from me alot of times..i means..i dunno y..mayb..mayb..tis isnt me anymor..yea..i oways wonders..wat kind of life should i hv n stuff..but..in the end..i noe tat tis is my life..a loser 1..?or jus b normal..ha..u asked me..haizz..hvin a life like me is so so borin..well,let me tell u guys a secret.i can read thro ppl's mind..haha..dun blive right..yea..who will..tis world..onli 1..no..i dun think any1 blives it..but in the fact..ppl jus ignore it coz every1's scare to let ppl noe their real identity..ppl lives by pretendin to b somthin or som1 nowadays..no1's real..no 1..well..even im the same..i pretned to live tough..stay happy n try my best to make myself even more handsom n cool..well,i kinda did it~~XP..but wat i mean is..im jus tryin..in another word..im pretendin...theres nth's real inside me nw..ntg..totally ntg..emptiness oreadi eaten me up..love for u,ruey ying..i dunno..i guess i oreadi locked it up in my memories..the way u treated me..i've to thank you coz u'r the 1 who let me view on the true side of humanity..when ppl nids u..they love u..they admire u..they promise their life for u~~but when they had enuf n u'r ntg but a junk to them..they hates u,they kill u..dumped u..ignore u..or wat so ever..tats the true side of it...disgustin..??nah..but more to beauty..the most ''beautiful'' side of u...am i a corward nw..??wat i can say is..i dun trust any1 nw...coz i only trust wat i read from ur mind..which u cannot hide anythin from me of it..i knew everythin..finally...for tat specialty..it'll put me in the result of livin in the lonely world..but im happy wif it..at least..at least im blessed to stay out of tis ugly dusk...in tis world..every1 helds a position..for me..im the 1 who repairs..repairs ur heart..ur soul..ur life..n stuff..but after im done wif the job..ppl will us kik their ass off me n say goodbye..no1 appreciate wat i did..ppl r jus usin me as their replacement on som loss..after they found it bac..im ntg no more..tats wat i am..tats wat u make me..u...

hmm..yesterday i had a special dream..n tis dream makes me to reconsider again of wat i've thought about somthin b4...tis dream...u'r facin trouble again..n as usual..theres oways me to stand bside u..n yes..jus like b4..we b 2gether again..i noe tis is impossible in the reality but..tat feeling...it seems to b so real...so...nice...even tho i noe it was jus a dream..but tat moment i doubt tat i dun wanna wake up from the dream..i wanna stay there...at least livin in my own fantasy world...coz...i realize tat...i never really let u go b4...no matter wat i do..u'll still live in my heart...n i'll still miss u every single moment...a silly guy i am..but a true love n heart i had for u...

tuesday..haizz..sien a~~~stay at home tis morning~~ntg to do but to figure it out how the windows 7 starter works..hmm..but glad tat i hv chance to chat wif my formal student whos in taiwan nw~~^^..she's still so slacky n lazy tho~~XP..haizz..sien a~~~~ntg to do le~~~~

yay baby~!!!finally i had my netbook bac~~yay yay..2day afternoon i went to digital mall n buy a new 1~well,its the same model as b4 jus tat nw it comes wif windows 7~~hehehe...anyway..im glad tat i had my netbook bac again coz i get to on9~~hmm..without netbook,i cant go to my blog,facebook n shit i lost my student's blog ip..which makes me currently disconnect wif her..tryin to find out hows her life in taiwan..missed her so much~~but hopes she's fine anyway...n guess wat..finally everythin is off my chest~~im glad tat finally i did tat decision...at least nw im feelin better than ever~~yesterday i receive a call from her..well,i dun seems to b surprise bout it coz i noe tat she's gonna call so i pick it up..yes n i noe tat she's askin me to help her find somthin..well,after i make tat decision..i dunno y i dun hv the feelins of talkin so nice to her..so the whole call i jus act so cool...n suddenly she pissed off n started scoldin me n hang up..==..i was like..okie..u call,asked me for somthin..n i din reject but jus answer in a quite cool tone..abviously u should noe tat i'll b givin tat kind of answers after wat u n tat little kid ''doggy'' had done to me..n i din blame u guys but nw u'r mad coz i treat u cool~~~haha..funny..nvm,it doesnt affect on me anymor..i still cont my life normally n yesterday i went to my primary scl gatherin n celebrate a b'day of a fren which we oreadi noe each other for like 10+years..so..i had a great time~~~^^