god damn it!!!they say tat i'll b havin a better year..yea right..fucked them..guess wat.my hosue was been break in on wednesday..tat jerk took away some of my mom's precious jewelleries which was been passed down by my grandmother b4 she passed away,a pair of my dad's shoe n..the most important thing..my laptop!!!!fuck him!!break into my house..walao ehh..dun let me caught him..if i had a chance to lay my hand on him,i'll punch him like a dog..do u noe how many things r there inside my laptop??!!!its not bout the laptop but the things inside!!walao...!!!1st,i lost my girl,then i lsot my wallet,n then i lost my laptop...so wats next..??my life??!!!come on n take it away..!!im so damn fuckin sick of hvin such a bad life..hvin bad mood but tryin to find som1 to chat wif..no1 r available..wanted to find u..but yet i can forecast to noe wats the result of findin u..its useless..wat am i hvin nw..life or suffer...i so damn dull bout it...im oreadi numb..jus...bring it on watever tricks u'r still hidin bhind to play a fool wif my life..n end it fast plz...im jus hvin my empty vessel nw...take it if u wan...

OMG~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YESTERDAY NIGHT WAS THE HAPPIEST NIGHT I HAD EVER SINCE HALF OF THE YEAR~~!!!WOWOW!!!!!yesterday i n my fren was plannin to go clubbin at cocobanana...we oreadi plan to meet up at 10..then hv our dinner n straight go to club..who noes...afternoon 1 of my fren called up n ask me wanna go watch super junior's concert~i answer him bac if it free..of coz i wan..then he say yea,n the ticket is like rm400+..rock pit..in the middle of the stage...but wif 1 condition,i hv to fetch them go n bac..i was like..OMFG!!OF COZ I WAN!!!DUDE..I LOVE SUPER JUNIOR N I WANTED TO GO TO THEIR CONCEERT JUS TAT THE TICKET IS VERY EXPENSIV..BUT NW I GOT A FREE TICKET..SOMEMOR ITS IN THE ROCK PIT~~WHO DOWAN~~!!!!WALAO...the concert was so damn nice...i love the way they bring it out~~~cheerful..fun..amazing dance~performance...their singin~~omg..i love them...then after the concert i join up my other fren n go down to club...tat time my stomach was empty..but tat moment i was thinkin later im gonna drive so i wont drink too much..then i guess its ok even if im hungry...who noes after went there..i bang into my 2ndary scl frens n we started to get high..drink n dance~~my god~~~eventually..yea..i was drunk..so damn drunk tat i vomited like 8 times..n start to got wild~~~haha...i reach home at around 7 in the morning...nw after the whole day..i still dun feel very well bout my stomach n my head still bit dizzy~~XS...but nvm~~we hv alot of fun yesterday~~i love it man~~~wowowowow~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!super junior rock~!!!!clubbin rock~~!!!!me rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmm..has been omost a week i din step into my blog...hmm..lets see..tis week~~~well..bsides than i din really slps well...all my minds is jus u keep runnin in my mind~~~~~@.@...well,sorry for lettin u so tired~~but sorry again coz i cant let u take a rest n continue runnin in my mind~~XP...hmm..y i din slp well...good question...im hvin nightmares...nightmares of u...u've been appearin in my dreams...it should b a happy thing but..in my dream..the way u talk..act...it brokes my heart..again..haizz...i really dunno y...y am i stuck in u...im tryin my best to set myself free from u but end up...we both runnin in my mind~~haizz...tired..really very tired...but...i jus dun hope tat u would jus take a rest..even a second..coz..im so so missed u nw~~~

hmm..jus come bac from work..my god..so damn tired..haizz...these weekend sucks..no..is the whole holiday of mine SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!been through a whole week of emo..tot will b better bit but who noes..walao...do u even noe how it feels when som1 jus break into ur relationship but say tat u'r the 3rd party~??walao eh..MEMANG JIBAI PUNYA ORANG~!!!sorry 4 bein so rude..but..no1 to chat to..all things hv been keepin inside my heart..im feelin so so so damn burst out..argghh!!!!!!!!!!!!haizz..my ex-student went to taiwan oreadi..no1 can talk to...cant find her..coz i noe wat will happen..i dowan to cause another chaos to her..i dun wanna cause any trouble to her anymor..watever she wan..jus let it b...my heart is oreadi super tired...its like im walkin around the earth non-stop for a long long period..after knowin tat u'r goin to giv out n sell all the things tat i gave u..it jus feels like u'r tearin my heart piece by piece again n jus spread it into all directions..u dun even noe how it feels..u noe how to say tat sentence..person who likes u,theres a bunch of it..but person who love u..theres onli 1...n tats me..but u'r still hurtin me..askin me to dun love u anymor..not to wait for u anymor..??walao..it feels like u'r askin me to giv up my soul dude..do u noe wat is love..??u thinks tat love is jus a game..??u dun even noe how hurt i am..but im still here..still standin..jus for u..u silly goat...haizz...nvm mind of it..who cares bout u when u'r jus a useless,poor n a shit face...no choice..im not handsom..not rich..not smart...not talented..not ntg...but a small small dusk in the big big universe~~

手上香烟的味道，平抚了我孤单的心情。但弥漫在空气中那淡淡的烟草味，却无意中让我更加想你。没有了你的味道，也只剩下浓厚的烟草陪伴着我身边。喝着不加糖的expresso，也只有我知道那种苦中带甘的滋味。。也就和我一样，没有了你滋润我的生活，留下的也只是永远无法填满的空虚感。。习惯了寂寞，却奇妙的对孤单产生了一种莫名的陌生感。。唯有你给我留下的回忆，陪伴着我度过这寂寞的一生。。滴滴答答的雨声，让我回忆起过去我们一起度过的许多煎熬的日子。。空气中湿湿的味道，让我暂时忘掉了你的离开，也增加了我对你的思念。。狂风暴雨的降临，让我记起为你遮风挡雨的时候。。。还记得我告诉过你，风是我儿时的知心朋友。。因为她吹走了我所有的烦恼。。而于是我儿时的玩伴，因为它的降临，让我忘记了所有烦恼。。大地和天空，是时常陪伴在我身边贴心的家人。。因为他们都会无怨无愁地聆听我的埋怨。。寂寞与孤单，往往都会因为他们的存在而消失。。但是你，却是弥补我心灵上空虚的解药。。没有了你，就算是烦恼和寂寞被解开了，也只会增加我心灵上的空洞。。。上帝创造了万物，却也同时把感情给了生命。。诞生的同时，却也开始了感情的生活。。那种寂寞，孤单的空洞，由谁来弥补？无人晓得，也无人能答，在我的脑海里，我知道的，也只有我爱你。。

finally get done wif my examinations again~~wow~1 point to kenn plz~~hmm..guess im gettin tougher n tougher..i mean my mind la of coz..i hvt been exercise for so long,my body is gettin fatter n fatter~~!!!!XS..anyway..finally i get to control every single of my emotions n guess wat..i could even used it freely as well..i found out tat when im totally depressed..my mind works faster..more points n ideas will jus flush into my mind..n slowly,i start to learn to control..haha..guess wat..when my exam,i try to make myself so so depressed n damn it works!!!!so many ideas n points suddenly jus keep on comin out n yay!!!!im done wif it..woho~~~~~haha..so happy nw..well,yea..thanks to u too,my dear..coz of u..i learn all these!!^^..hmm..guess nw he treats u better huh...im glad finally...sorry to disturb u 2 earlier..at 1st..i really planin to get u bac..but i heard ur heart..i noe wat u'r thinkin...u asked me not too..coz of som reason..i wont say it out coz u'll never admit..u'r so care bout ur face~~~==..yiesh..but nvm..i got onli 2 choices,1 get u away from him..2 make him love u more n yup..guess i choose the 2nd 1...n yes it did works i guess...hmm..yea mayb u wont blive wat im sayin nw n think tat im bullshittin..or mayb u jus think im silly or watever...as long as u'r happy nw..even if my heart hv to break again again again again n again..whenever i see u smile..everythin to me its jus fine..i love u,ruey ying...muax..aishiteru..ma,ja neh..

寂寞，是一种奇妙的感觉。。在你寂寞的时候，却又会不由自主地想起你爱的人，那种空虚中带点甜蜜，寂寞中又带点温暖，有时冷又是热。。真是让人又爱又恨。。但是，常在我心中的寂寞，却已把苦中的甜蜜给取了出来，剩下的也只有空洞。。爱你的心，在这段爱情路上跌跌撞撞，外表看起来已变得越来越坚强，其实内心却是越来越脆弱。。在爱情路上拖着沉重的伐步，每一天都在无时无刻的盼望着你回来。。但是，你给的却是一次又一次的伤害。。虽然如此，我依旧不怪你，要怪，只能怪我当初的鲁莽和冲动。。当时的我应该冷静下来听你的解释，而不是忍不住脾气对你破口大骂。。当时的我不应该出言伤你。。而是应该更加得疼你。。但是，那一时无法改变的事实。。现在的我能做到的也只有耐心的等待。。在你手上的时候也只能默默的支持你，却不能上场为你擦眼泪。。我的心，真得很痛。。但是请你不要叫我放弃，因为我希望听到的也只有你对我的爱意。。该放弃，我早就在两年前放弃你了。。却因为深爱着你。。而坚持得走了这段艰苦的路。。我的心，因为爱你的寂寞而痛，我的身体，也因为不断的追随你的背影而累了。。但是我的魂却因为爱你而不断努力的生存。。盈，当年我鼓起勇气在大众下跪对你示爱，现在的我，需要的并不是那种勇气，需要的。。是你那温暖的爱。。。我。。真得很爱很爱你。。

我知道我选了一条不归路，再也不能回头。。但是为了你，也许你会说我傻，为什么世界上有那么多女生我不选，就是要选你。。对，他们可能都比你美，比你聪明，身材比你好。。但是，或许这就是上天跟我开的玩笑，不管谁出现在我面前，我的心也只对你痴心一片。。并不是说他对你不好，但是眼看着自己心爱的人在爱情世界里是个爱情的傀儡，我的心就不由自主地痛了起来。。真得很想把你静静地抱着，对你说。。没关系，有我在，就让我好好的爱你吧。。每个人市场都在想，或在这世界上，什么是幸福。。但是幸运的我，因为你而明白了幸福的意思。。为你傻，是一种幸福。。傻傻的爱着你，不惜任何代价，就是一种幸福。。傻傻得陪着你，就能给我无比的快乐。。闻着你的发香，望着你的身影，听着你的身影，才让我知道这世界是多么的美丽。。傻傻的望着你，就能感觉到无比的甜蜜。。傻傻得等着你，也是一种幸福。。等待你的当时，也能学习如何去爱你，因为静静的看着你的动作，行为，才知道我是着世界上最幸福的男人。。因为拥有这如此珍贵的机会，让我感觉到什么是幸福。。傻傻得跟你斗嘴，也只是为了让我们之间擦出更多爱的火花，让我们的爱情更加的完美和甜蜜。。傻，是因为爱你而傻。。爱你，是因为傻所以爱你。。我。。就是那只会傻傻爱着你的大傻瓜。。

但是。。好景不长。。痛苦的回忆慢慢的遮掩了我对你的爱意。。我们俩之间所发生的事情，也逐渐腐蚀了我们之间的爱情。。如今的我，也只能盼望着你的归来。。对你的爱，从来就没改变过。。可是你对我的伤害。确实越来越深。。受伤的躯壳，流血的心，也只能不放弃的爱着你，真心希望你会原谅我，回到我身边来。。我错了，我真的错了。。心里有一千个，一万个得难受。。也只能往肚里吞。。因为没有了你陪在我的身旁，安慰我。。逗我开心。。失去你的日子里，虽然并不好受。。但也为了实现我对你的承诺。。坚强的继续走下去。。请你。。不要在伤害我的心。。真心爱你的人，是天堂为了真爱而牺牲了翅旁，来到了凡间的天使。。如果没有了你。。他们再也不能回到天堂。。我的翅膀以为你折，我的心以为你碎。。但是。。我还是深深的爱着你。。

是我不好，让你跑掉。。
是我不好，让你跌倒。。
是我不好，给过你的承诺。。
也只当随便胡闹。。
曾经的你不管受了多少委屈，
都会继续微笑。。
不管受了多少伤害，
对我的爱也依旧不变。。
可是一场误会，让我失去了你。。
无奈的后悔，也只能是痛册心扉。。
为了挽回你的爱。。不惜代价。。
受伤的心，就算一而再，再而三的被你拒绝与千里之外，
也只能忍着泪，流着血的继续坚持到底。。
爱你，不是因为你的美而已，
爱你，是因为你就是我爱的你，
不管你多努力的改变，在我眼里你还是让我深爱着的你。。
身上所承受得伤，远远不敌心里所受的打击。。
不断的拒绝，让我伤心绝底。。
但是想要放弃的我，却顿时想起当年对你的承诺。。
到了最后，就算是遍体鳞伤，也会继续下去。。
因为爱你的我，想要保护你。。
爱你的我，想要照顾你。。
也就因为爱你的我，想要和你度过生命中的每一份每一秒，
牵着你的手，一起走到永远。。
我爱你。。

还记得当初的我，对你许下了永远爱你，疼你的诺言。。如今的我，因为当时的一时之气，明知道你没有被着我做出任何对不起我的事。。却因撑不住气，把你给骂跑了。。想努力的追回你，却会想起当时我的坏脾气，害怕又会再一次的伤害你。。我知道当时对你的伤害不能只用一句对不起就解决。。但是如果再有机会握着你的手，我会说的并不是爱你到永远，而是爱你无限期。。如果你能回来，就算要我配上任何的代价我都愿意。。并不是因为我那么没用，没了你就不行。。而是因为我希望你能陪在我身边，哪怕是失败或成功，我都希望你能很我一起分享和度过生命中的每一份每一秒。。不答应你什么，只会尽我所能，让你不在受伤，让你不在掉眼泪，让你开开心心幸福的过每一天。。因为我就是我，就是那个爱你的我。。人都常说。。爱情与生命，都像一支火柴。。终会有烧到尽头的一天。。但是对我而言，你就是我生命中为我点亮我接下来无限量的火柴的能源。。也只因为有你。。在我的爱情世界里，爱你的火依旧地亮着。。也就因为你，它散发出来的光芒将会照亮全世界，带给全世界温暖。。因为，爱着你是幸福的。。想你是甜蜜的。。关心你是温暖的。。希望你继续需的做我生命中为我点亮幸福的火柴的能源。。继续得让我们的爱情故事感动全世界。。请你不要叫我放弃，因为你知道我永远都不会。。也请你不要说我们可以做最好的朋友，因为我才知道我讨厌你这样说。。拥有一颗世界上最真诚爱你的心。。因为不愿意在看到你受苦，不愿意在看到你受伤害。。我真的希望。。真的希望上天能再一次给我一个机会，让我就像当初一样，再一次地把你从苦难中救回上来。。而这次的我。。会做得比上一次更好。。我不回答应你什么。。只会确保我自己做得比上次好。。让我爱你。。就是我最大的愿望~也因为只有你，才会让我的生命加上更多的颜色。。更加多姿多彩。。

haizz..im holdin myself so hard for not to find u..do u even noe how hard it feels like..??how sufferin it feels like for not knowin any news bout the 1 u love so much..??do u noe how worried i got when i noe tat u'r sick..but all of these..??wat i can do is jus wait..pray tat u'll b alright..pray tat u'll b happy..pray tat u'll b safe...ITS SO SUFFERING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!argghh~~~!!!ying~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I NOE I CANT TOOK BAC MY WORDS BUT I REALLY DIN MEAN IT TAT NIGHT LA!!!!!!!!!!arrggghh~!!!!!!im not blamin u but..really..i still tryin so so hard to hold myself..i scare i cant hold it much longer oreadi...really..my body is gettin weaker n weaker for me to hold up so many things...argghh..i really dunno how n wat ways i should use to let u noe how i feel la...im cryin for help le..yorr~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!onli u can make me so..so..yiesh!!!!argghh~im goin crazy la...ying~~~plz~~T.T

question : do i still like/love u..?
answer : i dun,but i jus cant b without u...i still can live..but its emtpy..
question :the level of my love torwards u,did it decrease..?
answer : no,it din..jus tat i learnt a way to turn around so tat i wont hurt u..but scared i did too much n at the end it'll jus get worst,tats y i hope u could help..
question : y cant i jus go on n find another girl(but not dao gei..==)
answer : im oreadi living on..its jus tat my heart its like attached to u n i dunno y..even if i force myself to..in the end..it'll still b the same..im still in love wif u..
question : do u love him..??
answer : the answer..hmm..lets see...yes~~~but~~there's a but...dun deny it,he's jus a black spot in ur heart tat u wanna clear it..mayb some part of him attracts u..but u'r not attached to him..like u do...to..ermm..me~???i guess so..XS
question : will u come bac to me again..will we b 2gether again..??
answer : nw..hmm..dun think so coz i hvt take any action yet but i noe..we will..u'r oreadi givin me the sign~mayb u pretend to 4got everythin bout me..but i noe u din...u'r oreadi lock up the memories some where so tat u wont 4get..
question : y does he came bac..??
answer : u seriously wanna noe??but theres another question..even tho i tell u..will u even blive me??wat u'll say is tat he's nice guy,he wont act like tat..but tats the truth..how i noe..evidence..his comment on my frenster..n the way he treat u nw!!!!sorry to say tis but yes,im a jerk..but he's even more jerk than i am~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haizz...finally for so long i train myself to calm down..coz of u..i blast off again~im still in love wif u so so so much la dum dum~!!!jus tat i cant show it like last time coz it'll onli scares u away~!!!!!!like last time..u'll onli hate me coz i keep wrappin u around..u get it~??!!!!yiesh!!!!listen to me plz..when will u onli listen to me n blive wat i said n wats in ur heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!