haizz...no mood again....tis time really sien 7 jor..sorry for addin in som bad words coz..really dunno how to express myself...i mean..haizz..am i really gonna b alone for the rest of my life...haizz...watever i do..who ever i met..all r jus mistakes...yea...ntg else but a bunch of mistakes...how n wat im gonna do onli i get to repair all the problems in my life..im tryin my best..but in result..nothin works at all...nw guess im turnin into the public enemy...lookin into ppl's dark side is bad..but lookin into my own life..sucks...im sick of my life..bored of it..i wanna leave...i jus..wanna stay alone..mayb tats wat i meant to be..mayb tats wat im suppose to b..stay out of tis world..lock up myself n jus sit over the corner..onli me..alone in the dark...

haizz..since i was young..i oways have tis special feel..i mean..mayb its a gift from god..or mayb its somthin which will jus add more suffer into my life..yea..i can see through ppl's heart..i can noe wat they'r thinkin n wat they gonna say..in another word..the words of the truth...i oways tot wif tis,it will make my life better..i'll get more close wif my love 1..i'll b pretected from tis world coz i noe whos gonna hurt me..but lately...i started to change my mind bout it..ever since she leave..the words of her sayin tat i oways get to noe wat she's gonna say..it irritated her..nw slowly..i get to see alot of the dark side of humans..it disgusted me...it makes me feels like tis world is not beautiful at all..even mayb som of my tots r special..even i noe wat i written is good..even i noe i mayb the 1st...but wat so bout it..theres ntg at all..i feel so empty....so lonely...when i can get the silence feelings from the world is when i smoke...tats the onli moment...i get to cool down myself...my mind oreadi lost control...my angel oreadi left...nw the devil started to take over the body...im gonna lost myself soon...wats so good even i get to see thro ppl's heart..end up..im still ntg..wat i did is still useless...im ntg but jus a dirt...useless dirt...

rushing to update my blog nw..yiesh..tat yan a..oso say my modem kena lightnin strike lo...anyway..hmm..wat to say wat to say..argh~~~ohya...yan..im gonnay giv u ur present la..dun worry la..n yes,its 2 present tat im gonna giv u...but how bout mine..??when my b'day u go to taiwan oreadi le..not fair...so u hv to giv me 1 oso..haha..anyway,exam is comin soon..kinda stressed up again..n plus..when my sem 3 comes,my days will b so packed up jus like puttin 10 elephants in 1 small bag..haizz..worried bout my study alot..am i gonna make it or not..arghh~~god plz i beg u..bless me~~~~~

hmm..its been som time since i update tis blog..no choice,my modem been strike by lightnin n thanks for my bro for tat..anyway,hmm..normal week n finally i finish all my courseworks n assignments...chinese new year is comin very soon..but tis year's i jus dun seems to be so much of excitement..well,mayb im alone nw as the 1st day of chinese new year is oso valentines day..plus,jus right after the holiday im hvin exam as well so..haizz..my life r all messed up..walao eh..som1 plz come n arrange it properly plz~~~~

heiya..im in college nw..mmhmm~listenin to the united state of pop 2009..nice song..i love tis remix~~hmm..yesterday i went to a party of my formal students..she's goin to taiwan soon..well,at 1st i tot it was jus a normal farewell party..but when i reach,n saw ppl givin her present n hugs n greets of happy b'day..then i was stunt..my god..it was her b'day~~n im goin there wif empty hands~~~arrhh~!!!felt so embaressed..but nvm,i'll replace my present to her..i'll choose somthin special...hmm..life r gettin blur n confusin..mind had stop functionin long time ago..guess it stop by the time where the story ends~haizz..life..come bac~~~

beautiful dreams~

yesterdat i work at the restaurant..after we work then we yamcha at the mamak awhile n we decide to go to cc awhile..after tat..it was a tiring day after all..tis morning when i come bac to my own house,(p.s. everytim i got work,i'll b overnight at my fren's house)i go to my own bed n slp again..ahh..my own bed~comfortable...then i had a dream...a dream tat..makes me hate myself again...in the dream,i was quite rich..i mean richer than the me nw...my family owns like 1 bunglo..no..its 2..yea..u was around in the dream..n he as well..it was jus a normal life i have in the dream..but suddenly 1 day somthin happens n my family was jus puff into quite a topic in town..so we bcome quite famous..n u come bac..we'r jus like frens...i mean,after we break up we'r still like frens..guess in my dream i was more brave to face the reality then...after a few years later in the dream,2 kids appears..well,not ours,its his..wif another girl luckily...n in the end,guess we get bac together again..hmm..tat feelin was great like heaven..when u come bac to me...arhhh...gad damn it...it makes me miss u hell lot again...but guess...things to me had turns out to b worst...jus nw i look through ur facebook..i saw ur graduate photos...i saw ur family..i saw him..n guess..finally ur family accept wat had happens n move on..not like me..still stuck in the past..hmm..guess tats it..it proves tat..forever love its jus som kinda joke after all..guess..its ntg but a word tat we use daily like sayin ''me'' or ''u''..hmm..holy shit..emo again...argh~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

life~

haizz..dunno its a good things or bad..well,kindly my tuition business had gone better..i got 2 more new students..which makes my income increase~~yay yay..but i face another problem..its so stressful to teach those 2..hv to think another way..gosh..well,jus finish my account assignment..but i still got 2 more~~die..haizz..cant really thing of a clue to solve everythin..argghh~~~~~i missed her badly again~~~aiyoyo...cham lo~~

haizz...sad..feel tat not onli im lonely n cold...even my blog oso the same..walao eh..when go to other ppl's blog..all comments n chats n stuff..but seems like mine is the onli 1 which is so so so so sooooooo boring..haizz..nvm,suits my life..anyway..guess the bacteria izzit really strong enuf to beat me down..im recoverin soon..well,somthin happens in our class lately..but its consider ends nw..jus feel tat wats the meanin of love again..???nah..no answers bout it..no comments..when u get to love som1..u wont appreciate it..but when u cant..u'll onlu understnad how important n beautiful it is to have som1 bsides u..n love u..well...guess no1 will really understand it tho..the ''forever'' arent really forever nw...wat to say...humans nwadays r like monsters n devil..well,not to praise myself but at least tis lil devil here(a.k.a me..^^) still hv the angle's wings me bhind me..so means..im a good guy in the bad man face~~yay yay~~roar forever love..ARRGGHH~~~~~!!!!!!

sick~suffering~

my god..wat happened to me..am i smokin too much or wat..im sick..throat pain..flue..coughin..god..its been some time since i ever come through the feelin of sickness but..i hate to fall sick..cant sick..throat's very uncomfortable..haizz...sad~

2day suddenly i got a call from u..it was shock at 1st when i looked at the caller name n it appears to b urs..hmm..dunno y..after u hang up the phone..a relief feeling jus came out from my heart..nw tat u'r sick n u dun like pills,yea..even tho u dun like the taste n smell of the soluble panadol..but i still bought 1 for u n put it in ur mailbox..dunno got ppl will reliaze bout it anot but..jus hope tat u'll recover soon..hmm..mayb...或许。。或许现在的我。。虽然是很想你。。不过偶尔知道你也会想起我的时候。。也许这样就已经足够了。。至少。。我还没完全在你的心里消失。。希望你能幸福快乐。。健健康康的。。因为现在的我。。能做到的。。也只有这些了。。

lookin at the clear sky..hmm..it doesnt really shows blue anymor..y..y i felt tat onli me lookin at the grey grey sky..y i felt tat im the onli 1 whos standin under the spotlight..y..i lost my direction..i lose my way..i lost everythin..

year 2006,tot i lost somthin importan..at the end,guess tats jus a start for me coz i found som1 which is importan
year 2007,alot of stuff happens tis year..i nearly got into jail..the 1st time ever i felt som1 cares bout me so much..after all these years,finally my metal heart melts down for u..from tat moment..i promise tat i'll love u as much as i could..
year 2008,finally things starts to settle down alot..the importan year as im goin to take the exam..a very very big surprise for my b'day..1st time i try to go on a long trip by myself..1st time som1 worried bout me so much tat i felt im the luckiest guy in the world..1st time i noe finally its u tat im findin for..1st time i braved up myself n stand on the stage jus for u..finally im givin everythin for u..
year 2009,after all these years,guess its time to b free..but guess freedom arent a fun thing..been through alot alot of harsh time..arguements..fights..end up..everythin crush..wat im chasin for..im so confuse..i lost everythin..i lost u..everythin..i tot i had everythin..but in the end i had nth...my wisdom was blindfolded by the view in front of my eyes..i was acting crazy..end up..onli til i lost everythin when my view starts to b clear up..onli 1 thin tat im tryin my best to make it done..ur final 3 wishes for me..build up a good relationship wif my family,hope u'll never pull me down again n got a good future n hope i could understand everythin u did..
year 2010,..everythin its still myteries..but wat i noe its..i really hope tat u'r happy nw..no matter where u r or wat u'r doin nw..im still thinkin bout u..waitin for u..missin u..prayin for u..im still holdin up..n i gotta tell u..thankyou so much..coz of u..i finally grown up into a different person..coz of u,nw i learnt to look in things by different sides of views..coz of u..i finally learnt how to appreciate things..either its good or bad..i hv to accept it n try my best to turn it into the best way..coz of u..finally i noe..wat is love..hope tat u'r happy oways..hope tat u'r safe oways...hope tat u r...u r..hope u r..urself...chuah ruey ying..sorry tat i hv to say..but thankyou tat i gotta say..

home sweet home..

well helloe guys~happy new yeaR~!!!jus came bac from hatyai thailand..man it was so damn fun over there..i love it so so much...well at 1st i tot thailand was still a country tat littery full of mud n bit outdated country but after tis trip..guess im lacking of alot of knowledge..thailand was so fun!!!the ppl pver there is full of imaginations..they'r brilliant!!!n not onli that..man oh man..over there is full of sexy hot pretty chicks!!!!my god..well,i could say tat im so lucky to get to know two of them..haha...n get to learnt some thai languages too..hehehe..thailand was fun..its worth it to spend ur new year over there..the way the celebrate..it was so fun..n u should see those punks..cool man~n the celebration concert~rock n roll~!!!wow~n the 1st time i get to went into a place which is -15'c..man i could say..i wan it again~!!!n guess wat..im wearin a short pants n a pair of slipers went inside..my toes are frozen~n still i get to took som pics wif two pretty girls~hehehe..lucky me~i love it..the whole journey was cool..man i jus love it..n it is also the 1st time i taste those fried insects..n i can tell u guys..it is yummy~!!!!not even bit of disgust..seriously it taste damn good...i love it since the 1st bite i got it..well..of all these excitement..i still miss the moment where i oways share these experience wif u everytim i went for a vacation..but nw...hmm..guess all those excitement still not enuf to replace the empty of my heart...happy new year??nah..jus another year of loneliness..

hmm..anyway..nw lets us start the class..class stand!!hehe..well,i learnt a few thai n im gonna teach u guys nw..
1st is bout numbers..
1=neng-------------------------------------hai mag mag=more
2=song-------------------------------------pit lam pa=chilli
3=sam -------------------------------------liao mahai=its finish nw,later
4=si -------------------------------------tiao na mahai=wait for the next turn
5=ha -------------------------------------cheaper=tok tok/tok tok noi
6=hok -------------------------------------expensive=peng peng
7=qit -------------------------------------lai mi pong ni hanai=go toilet
8=bet -------------------------------------lok gun kap=thankyou
9=giu -------------------------------------gin kau=eat
10=sip-------------------------------------lok cat di=taste nice

p.s.well,some of them might sound weird but yea..they really sound like tat..