merry or happy christmas~?=.=

hmm..nw its christmas again~time jus pass by so fast til ucant even get 2 chance 2 breath..christmas..where every1 in the world especially kids r waitin 4 it 2 arrive..but me..it jus sound normal 2 me..well,i feel kinda sad 2 think like tat..coz..4 me..christmas is jus nth special but hopin 4 somthin special tat will not happen..its not tat coz darling cant been through christmas wif me tats y i feel tat way..its..i dun even noe wat so special bout it but y every1 some how seems 2 waitin 4 it happily but not me..i cant get the meanin of christmas n wat so fun bout it..but i wanna feel it..i wanna get it..jus..every year i was hopin 2 feel the specialty of it..some how every year it dissapointed me..haizz~when will i get my happy little christmas~T.T

haizz...i dun really understand why~can any1 tell me or explain 2 me plz~

haizz...2day darling told me tat she got a job in a mini mart..1st thing tat came 2 my mind was mini mart..robberies...prevert boss n workers..not a safe place..tats y at 1st i was totally disagreed..n i reminded darling tat i told her b4 jobs tat she can look for is onli at kindergarden or house..(tutor her bro)..well,at least 2 me these r the safest places..after darling explain 2 me n say tat shop was her uncle's..n say it'll b safe coz his children will b in there 2..tat time.i noe i cant hold darling bac 2 much n she really wanna do it..i hv no choice but 2 say yes..but i keep remind her bout if anythin happens,jus scream out loud or call me..well..til she finish her work..at least my darling still safe..^^..n im glad bout it..then she went 2 her cousin's dancin class..coz dunno y she suddenly like dancin..mayb is last time at prom she saw me dance~XP..well,2 me its not bad too..as dancin is a god exercise where u can keep ur body fit n build up ur self confidence as well..hmm..after tat,i called darling n we chat awhile..she told me she met up her uncle at the dancin class n stuff..in tat conversation..onli 2 thing tat makes me felt quite nsatisfied n unhappy bout it..tat time her uncle ask her bout her bf..n she say she din hv 1..when i heard bout it..i was like..WAT?!!!THEN WHO AM I..??!!!i mean..y dun u jus admit tat u hv 1 n its me!!!after tat..when i ask..she jus keep say dun wan..i really dun understand..its not the 1st time oreadi..well,b4 tat was b4 our spm..i understand..but nw..??spm its oreadi over..n nw even u hv a bf,its super super normal...y dun u jus admit bout it..??!!!i..i really dun understand..n im really sad bout it..but i jus hv 2 stop the topic..coz i dun wann fight over tat again..jus..i really dun understand y..y cant u jus admit it..it gives me a feel like..im still not tat improtant 2 u tat u still cant at least admit me in front of ur family..am i really tat not important 2 u..??or..u never think tat u wan me 2 b a part of ur family b4..i..i really dun understand..questions keep comin out from my mind..i really dun understand..n im so sad..sad tat..mayb im still not tat important 2 u..haizz..T.T

say hi 2 me again coz its freedom nw~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yay yay yay~finally my secondary scl life its over~yes!!!!!!!!!well..nw my parents r hvin vacation at vietnam..me??altho its after spm..but im stuck at here coz i hv 2 help my parents 2 look after the shop as they were hvin fun..haizz..sad..tot of i can work bit 2 earn some money 2 play tim..well,at least after they come bac,i got a part time job as a tuition teacher n mayb a restaurant waiter..(imagine my students meet me in the restaurant as a waiter~XP)haizz..2moro its oreadi prom night..but i hvt get my clothes a..hvt buy n no money~~T.T..haizz..nw so damn nervous a..no clothes..wat am i gonna wear 2 prom??~!!!!!!!plus..i dun think got ppl fetch me home after prom..haizz..sad..dunno wat 2 do nw..hv 2 wait til my parents come bac from vacation onli discuss..arhh!!!!!!!prom~~~hmm..darling,if 2moro i wear til not nice,plz dun b dissapointed on me ok?plz~~~

2day is a very facinating day..well..should say is my first day of ''alone advanture''..hmm..mayb u guys are wonderin where i went..i went to~GENTING!!!!!!haizz...at first,i went to pasar central to buy ticket..but then when i reach..they put out a sign board say..'' next bus ticket 1 o'clock''..i was like..O.O'''!!!!!!wat the FUCK?!?!!!1??? i nid 2 wait til 1?then got 2 guys came over n ask me wanna go genting..if wan then i can share a taxi wif a couple who r oso the victim of the ''1 o'clock bus ticket''..when i was bout 2 say ok..then the lady in the office suddenly put out hte sign board says ''ticket for 10 o'clock''..tat time i was like..my god..thankyou..thankyou so much..u saved me~~then i quickly buy the ticket n when i was bout 2 go,i suddenly thought should i buy the back ticket as if i wana bac tat time no more ticket then im doom..so i faster buy the bac ticket,which is at 6..hmm..tat time,i was glad tat i finally get 2 go 2 genting n meet my darling as we hv promised 2 met there..then i went up 2 central n buy some breakfast 2 fill myself up b4 goin up 2 ''heavenly expensive food''..when 9.45,i quickly ran 2 the station so tat i wont miss the bus..when the bus start the engine..finally...i quickly find the bus im suppose 2 take...i was so nervous 2 get into the wrong bus,i asked 4 to 5 ppl am i takin the right bus anot...it was a ''cool'' journey as i 1st time take a bus ride far away from home alone..really alone..no1 who i noe is around me...so damn nervous n scared...but finally..i reach genting in bout 1 hours later..then i took the cable car..n finally..i reach GENTING!!!!!!!tat time i quickly sms-in darling n ask her where she is as i was facin another problem..im stuck~i dunno where i am n where i should go..T.T..she told me she was checkin into hotel..then i was like..wat??i thought u oreadi say u were in the room oreadi when we was sms-in b4 i reach the top..then she din reply oreadi..tat time..i was tryin 2 fidn my OWN way 2 the indoor's games..coz tat place is a link 2 the out door theme park..when i reach there,darling still hv't reply my sms..then i decided 2 call her as i was very ''ng song'' n angry oreadi..as she pick up,she ask me whether wanna go 2 the hotel room 2 look around as its a VIP room n it cost 2k per night..when i heard it,i was quite excited..but i look at the time..i onli left bout 5 hours there..i dun wanna waste anymore time as i was thinkin 2 fully use the time tat i left 2 hv some fun wif darling.but i agree 2 look around the room oso as darling keep ask me 2 go n i noe she really wan me 2 look around..plus,2 room wif 2k per night..i really wanna check it out how does it looks like..so as im waitin 4 darling 2 lead me there,i walk around n tat time,i was thinkin bout the happiness tat we'r gonna hv later..im really really happy tat i can go genting n play wif darling..when we reach the room..well,2 me,it's jus a room wif pc,internet n plasma tv wif astro..well,the bathroom was quite nice 2...then i look around,n found out tat..i got no place 2 hide jus incase darling's aunty n uncle suddenly come bac..tat time,i started 2 panic n wanna go out of the room immediately..but when i told darling tat,she look kinda sad..mayb she thinks i dun like it..but,darling..im jus scared..i dun wan 2 let ur aunty n uncle found out tat im around without their permission especially after wat happened last time..then finally we got out of the hotel n went out 2 play..on the way 2 the theme park..darling doesnt look happy n she look angry..mayb i did somthin wrong again..so i asked her wats wrong..but she answer me ntg's wrong..so..i kept quiet n walk..as we reach the indoor theme park stage..they stop n discuss wat 2 play..so i wait n keep lookin at the time tat i left..tat time i was quite pissed bout y she dun really think of wat r we gonna do when i reached..i mean..i can onli stya there 4 few hours n tat few hours really mean alot 2 me n i dun wanna waste it..at last..darling's cousin n bro decided 2 play indoor n we gonna play outdoor's games..darling's cousin pass me his outdoor's game pass so tat i dun nid 2 buy the ticket as i'm jus stayin 4 few hours..but the pic on tat pass doesn't even look like me..not even bit..darling say its ok..they wont really look at me..jus 4 secure,i ask her 2 go in 1st n see how those ppl check..when darling pass through,they was like look at the pass n then look at her n then look at the pass again..after a few times checkin onli let her pass..i was like..O.O..MY GOD..HOW AM I GONNA PASS THROUGH TAT~so i hv no choice..since im here 2 hv som fun wif darling,of coz i dun wan any trouble..so i decided 2 buy the ticket..well..its jus twenty over bucks..n i can play safe n happy..(not tat ''play safe'' la~=.=)so nvm lo..as i go in,i saw darling's face was like..y u buy tat ticket??y u got the pass but u dun wanna use...??y u wanna waste tat money..im jus helpin u 2 save money,y u dun listen worr..bcoz of tat..we got into a small arguement,but after tat..i manage 2 make her happy again..hehe..then we decide 2 play the space shooter..its a loooong queue..as we'r waitin..darling keep say i dun dare 2 play..jiorr..not fair la..although yea,im scare of height..but she cannot laugh at me de mah..how can she laugh~T.T(dun worry darling,im not angry or sad..im jus tryin 2 act cute~XP)when omost reach us..tat stupid damn sky suddenly rain..i was like..DENG!!!!!!!!!#@$*4 WAT U RAIN..?!!!!then nvm lo..we went in..n meet up wif darling's cousin n we went 2 hv our lunch at the food court..after tat we went 4 a movie~''disaster movie''~tat movie was like deng~a pregnant dance break dance..?n she's usin her damn big stomach 2 spin on the floor...deng..the whole movie i was like..deng..deNG..DENG!!!after a laughter of 2 hours more..we finish the movie..we spread out again as darling's cousin gonna check out from the VIP room..so left me n darling..then we decided 2 take the left over time 2 play somthin at least..well,guess wat..we decide 2 play pirate ship..XD..at 1st,when we reach there,i tot the pirate ship was easy 4 me coz it doesnt swing 2 high up..but when we ride..at 1st nth,then slowly higher higher n higher..i was like my god..stop gettin high~~~tis is so embarrasing..darling was laughin at me on tat time..T.T..after tat,i find out tat we left onli abit time..so b4 i go bac..we was manage 2 take a few cute photo 2gether n make it as a sticker..well,unfortunately b4 i go bac..we had abit argument as tat time i feel tat darling got somthin 2 say..but when i ask,she say nth..so i keep ask n ask n ask til i was bit pissed..then she say she missed me alot..tat time i was shock yet felt guilty coz i was bit rough on her..so i hug her n say silly darling..next time if u missed me,jus tell me..dun feel shy about it..hmm..after tat..finally i take the cable car.n go home..when i ride on the cable car n look at darling b4 i left..suddenly i feel like cryin..i realy missed her alot n i really love her..well,tat day was a quite smooth day..jus tat..i reach home at bout 8somthin..XSwell,at least its a nice day n i'll always hv tis in my memory~

baby babe~dun cry..T.T

yesterday night i had a very bad nightmare..she said she's gonna leave me..although i noe it was jus a mistake n she din really mean it..but it still hurts me alot n i was shocked when i heard it..i was totally lose control n started to talk like a nuts...words tat i dun even wan it comin out from my mouth..mayb tat time my mind n heart had stop workin..tats y..hmm..darling,plz promise me tat u will never say those words again..plz..i dun wan u to leave me..i dun wanna loose u~hmm..T.T..jus a holiday n things happen..tats y i hate holiday..mayb bcoz of holidays,we cant really see each other,tats y when miss got over..hmm..to think another way..it is a good thing too..well,at least after tat we promise each other not to think bout somthin tat was not bein said by me/she..n everytime when somthin happens,we'll sit down n talk 1st...tis is really wat i wan..i hope it really does work..coz by tat..i can ensure tat our love story will really continue forever n ever til eternity~~i love u so much darling..u'll oways b a part of me n my life..MUAXX!!!!!!!!

blogger's life

life's gettin harder when u'r growin older n older...parents keep talk alot bout ur life..n challenges keep gettin lot n lot more..try 2 stay cool n strong..happiness will still appear in ur life especially when the special 1 start 2 appear in ur life..he/she will keep support u..love u..stay wif u..